Page 56 of Christmas Chaos
“Bax, it seems we have to get you out of here without you falling further.”
Tabi looks at Josh. “Yeah. Seems like it. Get me the fuck out of the floor.” Her sheet falls a bit and Josh looks away. David shrugs.
Tabi turns to me. “What? He’s seen them. You’ve all seen them. No big.” She used to enjoy creeping us all out by flashing us. I only pretended that it was gross.
My voice is a bit rough. “Yes. But they’re mine now and I’d appreciate if no one else saw them.”
“But they’re so good.” Tabi is rightly proud of her boobs.
Josh and David nod and my ginger friend says, “She’s right. They are good.”
“Thanks, David.”
I yell, “Enough about her tits. Get us out of here. Josh, throw me your hoodie.”
He pulls it off and tosses it to us. I put it over Tabi’s head, it will hang to her mid-thigh. That’s good. Well, it’s better.
Josh and David are about three feet from the bed and the giant hole in the floor of the first floor. It could all blow.
“I’ll call Matteo, he was working late on your sister’s construction project.” Josh walks out to the front porch to call our remarkably busy contractor and our phones pop off again.
Tabi says, “David, can you see if that’s for all of us? Like is one of our parents dead or a wildfire? No one could know about this shitshow here.”
David pulls his phone out. “It’s just Becca.” Him blowing off his sister isn’t new.
I offer up, “There’s no way she’s calling all of us so something else is going on.”
Josh reenters. “Ok. So. Matteo is on his way with a couple of guys, and he’s warned David and I to get out of the house.” He’s our contractor and builder for all of Pro/Ho and is currently building out some buildings on my family winery and for my sister’s recording studio project. And he keeps warning us this fucking house isn’t worth the effort and money. He also said it’s barely making code.
“Are you fucking kidding me? Get Sam over here. He’ll brute this thing out.” She moves a bit too much and the bed, or the floor, or the house creaks.
“Stop gesturing,” I say calmly.
“I’m Greek. That’s impossible.”
“I don’t want to die because you had to talk with your hands.”
David says, “Seems fair.” Both he and Josh are on the porch. The structure I thought we’d fall through first, but it seems to be standing. I’m terrified of the roof caving in on us. I don’t know how to fix this or protect her. I’m no good if I can’t protect her.
“Josh. Get us the fuck out of here. Screw Matteo. Get her out.” Josh doesn’t question me; he’s as protective as I am. Well, he’s over the top insane with it, but he gets me.
David tries to stop him. “They’re fine. We don’t want to do any more damage. Just wait.”
Josh shakes him off and David throws his hands in the air. I hear a truck pull up. I yell, “Who’s that?”
David smiles. “The crown prince of assholery has arrived. Everyone step aside.”
Tabi says, “He’s our resident douchenozzle now you’ve laid down your crown.”
David replies, “You take that back or I’ll pull out some old dickish moves. Pick a fight or something.”
I yell, “Again. Focus.”
Sam bounds up the stairs and fills the doorway. Seriously when you take a teddy bear and turn him into a grizzly it’s miraculous. He’s honestly filling the doorframe.
“Why the fuck aren’t you assholes answering your phones? I had to literally stop fingering a chick so I could deliver—” He stops talking when he sees Tabi and me.
Tabi yells, “GET ME OUT!”
