Page 87 of Christmas Chaos

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SABRINA: They are large. Rory, admit it. The baby looks like it’s the size of a thimble. You’re not to scale.

RORY: Goodnight, all.

TRISTAN: That’s it. No quip or dig at Tabi. No grumpy sign off?

RORY: What’s there to be grumpy about?

JONATHAN: Merry Christmas, everyone.

BEN: I was just thinking, Tabi’s gone and gotten herself a boy and Rory a girl, perhaps in twenty years or so…

BAX (TABI): NO

RORY: Absolutely, no.

SABRINA: You had to go and rile them up.

BEN: Apologies. Carry on, everyone. But will you all be attending the wedding?

TRISTAN: I’m going to need an arsenal of nannies I suppose?

TABI: The whole Aganos/Schroeder tribe will be there.

RORY: We’ll be there, but that’s too many bloody people from California.

TABI: Fuck off Nessie and Happy Christmas.

SABRINA: Happy Christmas indeed.

RORY: {Picture of Brad’s Santa hat on Rory’s head and the baby snuggled on his bicep.}

Before I returnto my family and the insanity of my extended family—who are now all dancing around the makeshift helipad, even David’s asshole of a father is dancing and singing with his granddaughter—there’s one more thing I have to do.

BAX (TABI:) I’m four months and it’s healthy.

RORY: I thought it was a bit too easy to get off the line with you.

BAX (TABI): Seems like it’s going to stick around. I mean I don’t know what the future holds, but I do hope I get to meet this baby.

RORY: I’ll tell you what the future holds: noise, chaos, and utter pandemonium.

BAX (TABI): That’s it?

RORY: And so much fucking joy. The way I feel about Shona, and now you’re about to have all of this four times over, Christ, woman, you must be crawling out of your skin.

BAX (TABI): Yup. Joy.

RORY: What was it we all toasted to in February? To finding our lids. Being stuck in an airport with the lot of you wasn’t the worst fucking thing to ever happen.

BAX (TABI): Admit it. I’m your best friend.

RORY: Fuck no.

BAX (TABI): I am.

RORY: No, Charlie is.

BAX (TABI): Bullshit.

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