Page 88 of Christmas Chaos
RORY: Perhaps. Now bugger the hell off. You’ve no time to mess about with me when there’s a gaggle of children now in your care. Heaven help them.
I look up and hear him. Elle sweeps over. “My turn.” I grin and hand her Nick, and she floats off in yet another wedding dress. This one has an awfully long train dragging though the dust and dirt. She may hate being pregnant, but she loves fashion and she’s so beautiful. Also, how many fucking wedding dresses did my nutbag friend purchase?
I look at Bax and there’s a smile in his eyes. One of satisfied terror. I’m sure I look the same. We have no idea how to do this, where we’re going to live or what we’re going to do. He snaps a picture of me with his city of Sonoma Mayor phone as I give him the finger.
“Get off the phone, now woman.” Bax crooks his finger to me.
BAX (TABI): Gotta go get laid, see ya.
RORY: HA! I will never get used to your mouth.
BAX (TABI): Yeah, you will. Someday it will roll off your enormous, muscled back and right down your kilt.
RORY: GO!
BAX (TABI): Kiss that baby for me.
RORY: Same.
Bax takes me in his arms and kisses me. I can’t believe what a difference twenty-four hours can make. But looking in his endless blue eyes, I know that whatever bullshit happens with our new pack of wild beasts, we’ll tame them together. He takes my hand and leads me back toward J&J. They look tired, and I guide them to say goodnight. Bax’s father asks if he can readThe Night Before Christmasto his new grandchildren.
“Only if we can listen too, Dad,” Bax says.
I get the boys ready and snuggled into their insanely comfortable, brand-new beds, tucked into the room that was going to become Sam and David’s gym. It’s actually pretty great in here. Elle decorated it with Warriors’ posters and cars. It looks like a boy’s room, not some makeshift lean-to, which is what I thought I’d be sleeping in this evening.
Bax’s father, Adrian,puts a chair between their two beds and opens a book.
Bax whispers to me, “I didn’t know he still owned that book. It was mom’s.” I grin. I’m pretty much going to do that a hell of a lot more. Maybe. But I am grateful, all the cups runneth over.
There are Christmas lights all around us, and Adrian shuts out the side lamp. The room glows with the season. I’ll never have another day like this, and I just want to remember every irritating, disastrous, wonderful moment.
Then the room begins to fill. First with Goldie and Costas who move close to Joaquin. Ingrid comes in with baby Nick and sits on the end of Jay’s bed near me. Her boyfriend, Ian, takes a space on the wall. Next, Tommi, Bax’s other sister and her wife enter with their boy. And take up all the space on Joaquin’s bed next to Bax. The others are around the door, but it’s just my actual family in this room.
He begins but doesn’t need the book. Bax, Tommi and Ingrid mouth along and whisper. This must be their thing. My father reaches down to Joaquin and brushes hair from his forehead, and he smiles at him. Rory was right. I’m crawling out of my skin. It’s bursting all around me. I know this shit is going to be hard. I know it’s not a fucking fairy tale but right here, right now, I’m not sure there will ever be a more perfect moment with my family than this one. Bax catches my eye, and I grin. He puts a hand over his heart and mouths the words, “I love you, Bee.”
I mouth back, “Thank you. For all of this. I love you too.”
And then I almost throw up because I’m such an emotional sap. And I’m pretty freaking glad no one can see me but the people in this room. And they know I’d kill them if they told anyone that tears are streaming down my face. Elle once told me she leaks joy sometimes. I guess I do now too.
Adrian’s voice is strong and true, just like his son’s. And I hope our sons will find that same confidence and sense of self.
“Now, dash away, dash away, dash away, all.”
THE END
