Page 75 of Christmas Chaos
BAX: I love you so much. I love you so fucking much. I love you more than Costas’ baklava. I love you more every moment we exist. More every second of our lives, every leaf, every root, breath and adventure we take. Thank you for so much for choosing me.
TABI: Where the fuck are you?
All my stress breaks as I let out a large laugh. My wife doing the exact thing I should have anticipated her doing.
BAX: I’m just picking up a couple of things, then I’m racing back to you.
TABI: Stop being romantic and get here. I need you.
BAX: I know. But remember, as of tonight, there are things that will need us more.
TABI: I’ll always need you the most. Even if this kid turns out to be super needy. I’ll be the neediest. I love you. Now, please stop being fucking vague and get your sexy ass here.
BAX: On my way.
“Mr. Schroeder.” I turn and two women and a man come into view. I recognize one of the women as the case worker we’ve worked with before. Becca Gelbert is here. I don’t know when she did this and how she knew this was so important to me. I’ve been freaking out that there might be a hitch when I get here but she knew how important it was. I hug her and she actually hugs me back.
“Who’s with Tabi?”
“I got Poppy deputized so she can officially hand over the baby if we don’t get there in the next forty minutes. But I wanted to make sure there were no problems here. This matters, Bax. You all matter.” A rare moment of sentiment from our resident skeptic. I hug her again and she lets me.
“Fuck.” I run my hands through my hair. I look up and all three of them are staring at me. I realize I just swore. “Shit, I’m sorry. Fuck.” I put my hands out in front of me. “I promise I’m going to be a better father than my language.”
Our case worker smiles and says, “They’ve been through hell and back, I’m not sure saying the f-word could possibly make you a bad father in their eyes.”
She rushes to me, and I extend my hand.
“Nope. Not for this.” She hugs me. “You know I think these kids are special, but I can’t think of a better Christmas than this. For all of us.”
I hand her the folder of all the documents. She smiles. “Just sign all of these, I’ll be in touch for a home visit and Becca will get your court date set.”
“That’s it?”
“That’s it.”
I’m awash in emotions and a little unstable. I wish Tabi were here, that we could be in both places at once. “Do they know I’m here?”
Becca grins. “We thought you might want to tell them.” She puts out her hand and I take it. I’m glad she’s the unemotional one. If anyone else were here I’d be more of a puddle. The tears in my eyes are just sitting there poised to fall. I blink them back and we enter a little room. The boys light up and start screaming. They run to me, I open my arms and am almost knocked over. I pull them to me together. And then one by one.
Jay is crying. Just full-on crying and Joaquin is trying to be brave. He’s toughing it out, so I let go. I let the tears flow and by doing so I give him permission to be a sap too.
“No one should be alone on Christmas. Unless you guys want to stay here in this dumpy little room?” They laugh. “I’m so happy to see you two. We’ve missed you so much.” Jay won’t let go of me and I keep my arm tight around him.
Joaquin steps back and crosses his arms. “What now, Baxter?”
They don’t know that we’re not here to foster them.
“First we work on getting your math grade up or your mother will kill you.”
Jay says, “She doesn’t want us.”
I ruffle his hair. “Not that one. The other one. The one who wants you just as much as I do and can’t imagine another day without the two of you in our lives. What do you say? Will you have us? Wanna hang around us for like, forever?”
Jay immediately yells, “Yes!”
Joaquin’s jaw drops. I open my arms. “Come here, son.” And my new brave boy falls to pieces right there on the ground. I rush to him and take him in my arms. Jay joins us in our crying mess.
Joaquin finally calms down, looks at Jay and says, “Best Christmas EVER.”
