Page 66 of Christmas Chaos

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SABRINA: Hit me. I’m drunk at my sister’s house and Patrick keeps not so subtly hinting that he loves me the most. But how deep is his love?

JONATHAN: Is that weepy four-drink Sabrina who quotes the Bee Gees?

SABRINA: Not weepy. I’m happy. Let’s say it’s six-drink Sabrina. Who thinks there may be a move-in question coming? Who’s all a titter with excitement?

TRISTAN: Has anyone ever died from southern fruitcake? And what pray to the saints above is biscuit gravy?

TABI: Focus. I’M GETTING A BABY.

RORY: Been there, done that.

JONATHAN: Holy shit, was that a joke, Rory? Did you tell a joke?

TABI: Stay in your lane, Scotch Egg.

RORY: Fair enough. There’s someone more important than you, Tab, that I have to handle. Update me later.

SABRINA: WHEN? This is exciting, isn’t it?

TRISTAN: Why do you keep ending every text with a dumb question? Like you’re 80 years old?

SABRINA: Six-drink Sabrina likes question marks. But does it matter in the scheme of things?

JONATHAN: You did it again. You’re six-drink Sabrina has morphed into six-drink Grandma Sabrina.

BEN: That’s wonderful! I was going to tell you I got a ring for Laurie, but Tabi beat me out. That’s so fantastic.

TABI: Did I mention I’m getting a baby? Did anyone hear that?

BEN: I did.

TABI: Thank you, Ben

JONATHAN: Not from your junk?

TABI: Nah, some little boy whose parents decided we were the better choice.

TABI: Rory?

TABI: Come on, I totally set you up, Kilt.

TRISTAN: Mate, she teed that up pretty well. It’s an easy take down.

TABI: Must be changing a diaper.

SABRINA: I’ll do it. Better choice? Was there no one else?

JONATHAN: Better choice? Did you put your fuck-it list in your application?

BEN: Better choice? Are they out of parents in California?

TABI: Solid burns all around.

TRISTAN: Better choice? For what? Teaching the lad how to drink and insert himself into other’s lives without asking?

TABI: Again, solid.

RORY: There’s no better choice.

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