Page 15 of Christmas Chaos
‘What can I do? Hot water bottle? Cup of tea? Should I go up the hill and ring the midwife?’
Her face was pale. ‘No, I’m fine. It’s nothing.’
‘Are you—’
‘No, no, no, no, no!’
Fuck!‘What’s wrong?’
She leapt off the bed and ran for the bathroom, leaving a puddle of blood behind on the sheet. It was huge.
Fear strangled him, turning his vision white. He stumbled off the bed and followed her, blood roaring in his head. He had to hold it together for her, even though he was being torn apart.
She was sitting on the toilet, her hands clasped in her lap, rocking back and forth.
He knelt by her side. ‘What can I do? Shall we go to the hospital?’
She was shivering. ‘Can you clean the bed?’ she whispered. ‘I don’t want to see it.’
He nodded and dashed out. He had to deal with her shock first, so returned to drape a blanket over her shoulders and help her feet into fluffy slippers. She murmured something and he crouched down.
‘What did you say, love?’
‘It’s common to bleed during pregnancy. I’m sure everything’s fine.’
‘I know it is,’ he replied, not believing a word he was saying. ‘Can I get you anything else before I deal with the sheets?’
She shook her head.
He closed the bathroom door behind him and stared at the bed. There was bleeding during pregnancy, then there was this. He’d seen blood before, and he’d seen death. But nothing had ever felt like this. His heart was being ripped to shreds.
He had done this.
He had hurt the love of his life, and most likely cost her the thing she wanted more than anything else in the world.
He clenched his jaw against the rising tide of nausea.Breathe in, two, three, four…
He pulled the sheet off the bed. The blood had soaked through to the woollen mattress protector. He dragged it off. The stain continued as if burrowing its way to the centre of his soul.
How could he ever forgive himself?
He chucked the linen in a bucket of cold water and scrubbed at the mattress the best he could, then rushed back to check on her.
‘How are you doing?’
She shrugged. Her cheeks were dry, and somehow that made it even worse.
‘I don’t want to leave you, but I should call the midwife, see what they say?’
She nodded. ‘Yes please.’
‘I’ll be as quick as I can.’
He pulled some pads out of the cabinet and put them on the side. ‘I’ll just grab you some water and some painkillers.’
The nod of her head was almost imperceptible.
He returned with a glass, a packet of paracetamol, and a sleepy Basil who he placed in her hands.
