Page 91 of Kissing Games
‘Is this a good idea?’ She sounded worried.
He grinned as he continued down the side of the mountain. ‘It’s only a small bang. Think of it as a firework. And anyway, I’m a professional.’
‘You told me you were a professional idiot,’ she shouted.
‘I’m a professional at everything I do,’ he called back up the hill. ‘The slogan for the British Army is “Be the Best”, for the Para, it’s “Ready for Anything”, for the SAS, it’s “Who Dares Wins”, and for Saturday staff at McDonald’s, it’s “I’m Lovin’ It”, so I think I’ve got all bases covered.’
He chuckled as he heard the faint sound of ‘huevón’ and her laugh. He set the charge and tied the dress around it. He’d included some flares and bangers for effect, otherwise it would have been far too underwhelming. He strode back up the hill, unwinding a wire from a spool as he went.
‘Okay, it’s far enough down from us that we won’t be hit, even if the shrapnel could carry this far. But just in case I’ve fucked up spectacularly and can’t tell the red wire from the blue, I want you to put this over your face and crouch behind me.’ He pulled a welding mask out of the rucksack.
She looked at it. ‘Are you serious?’
He nodded. ‘You’ve got to have several layers of redundancy. So you’ll put it on and get behind me.’
‘But what is protecting you?’
‘My thick skin and boundless optimism,’ he replied. ‘Anyway, a few more scars will only make me even more rugged and handsome.’
‘Are you sure about this, Charlie?’
He kissed her on the forehead. ‘Absolutely. I’ll film it for you as well if you like? You can look over my shoulder as you set it off—’
‘I’msetting it off?’ she squeaked.
‘Of course. Your dress, your bomb, your glory.’
‘I can’t believe we’re doing this.’
‘Believe it. The earth is about to move for you, sugar plum.’
‘Will you rock my world?’ she asked, a mischievous look on her face.
‘Sweetheart, I’m going to blow you away.’
She darted forwards and gave him a quick kiss. ‘It’s always been fireworks with you, Charlie,’ she whispered before pulling back.
There it was again. The stabbing pain in his heart.
He forced himself to smile. ‘Ready to make sure our relationship goes out with a bang?’
She nodded.
He showedher the small box with the switch and she gave him her phone so he could video it, telling him to shoot in slow motion. He made sure the mask was on but she could still see over his shoulder, then handed her the box and began a countdown.
‘Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one, ZERO!’ he yelled.
Valentina flicked the switch and the bomb went off. There was a massive bang with a huge flash, then red flares shot into the air and firecrackers competed with Valentina’s screams.
As the light from the flares petered out, her screams turned into shrieks of laughter behind him. His heart was full.Try and beat that, arsehole future boyfriends.He desperately wanted a kiss, so without thinking, slumped over and played dead.
‘Charlie!’ she cried.
He heard the welding mask drop to the ground, then her hands were on him.
‘No, no, no, no, no! Charlie!’
Oh fuck.
