Page 49 of Finally Forever
I hike the covers to my chin, chilled all of a sudden. A fire blazes in the fireplace, but I just climbed into bed and the sheets haven’t been warmed by my body heat.
Sleeping alone after having Sebastian by my side is hard to get used to. I miss his scent, warmth, and muscular body beside me at night.
A smile tugs up my lips at the thought of us making dinner together earlier. He doesn’t know it, but he danced around me in the kitchen the same way he used to when we cooked. The choreography was the same, meaning he remembers. Whether it’s muscle memory or his subconscious, he remembers some things about our life and that’s what I need to keep this going. Hope.
My gaze catches on the closed door to the bedroom. Is Sebastian in his bed, too? He went to bed when I did. Well, he said he was going to, but I suspect he’s up to something. Everything about him carries an air of secrecy now. I don’t like to be kept in the dark, but what choice do I have?
I consider sneaking into his room and caressing his body with my hands and mouth until he gives in and takes advantage of all I have to offer. He didn’t remember me after what we did in here this afternoon, which has me thinking he needs to explore my body more. I’m not sure he’d agree. After our amazing sexual interaction, he’s gone back to putting distance between us.
I blink and try the dumbest thing ever. I focus on Sebastian and mentally call out to him, willing him to come to my room. In Europe, it worked a few times. I would think about him at night, and he would appear. It could have been that he knew I was in bed or in the tub waiting for him, but if there’s the slightest chance it was a psychic connection I have with him, this is worth the try.
Squeezing my eyes closed, I imagine him walking into the room and sliding into the bed beside me. I picture him kissing my neck and shoulder and working his way down while his big, warm hands play with my breasts in the way I love. My breathing hitches, and I swear I can feel him next to me, but when I open my eyes, I’m alone.
A sigh escapes me. If I can’t have him in real life, I’ll have to fantasize my way to a good night’s sleep.
* * *
I blink my eyes open to dull light filtering in through the windows. A glance at the empty bed on the right reveals my dreams were nothing more than that. Sebastian isn’t here, snuggling me in his strong arms.
I check the time on my phone. 12:30. Holy crap. I never sleep in this late. Well, not never. A few times I did when Sebastian and I stayed up late having sex, and once we watched a meteor shower from the terrace in France. Today, Nathan arrives, though.
I wanted to be up and ready because Sebastian doesn’t sleep. He can live off four hours, no problem. I’m certain he’s awake somewhere in this house, along with Xavier, who also requires little rest.
Although I consider myself a morning person, my body needs at least seven hours sleep for me to function. Last night I slept for ten hours. I’ve never slept for that long.
I spring out of the bed and race to the bathroom to shower. The hot water feels so good running over my body, but I don’t waste time washing my hair. It takes too damn long to dry.
I pull on brown leggings, matching over-the-knee boots, and a cream sweater before racing out of the room to look for Sebastian. Laughter draws me toward the family room. My feet halt at the entrance as my brain tries to make sense of what I’m seeing.
Nathan, looking a little less buff than he did in college, sits on one of the couches drinking from a mug while Sebastian sits across from him. I’d forgotten how similar they are—brown hair, tan skin, close in height, with Sebastian a bit taller. They’re both beautiful but in different ways. All-star athlete versus the tattooed bad boy.
The smiles on their faces speak volumes. No hard feelings between them. They appear to have picked up where they left off. Like Lowell and I had, minus the awkwardness of me having to keep my life secret.
He texted me three times since I left France. I have replied three times but never sent the texts. Seeing Sebastian with his best friend from the past has me thinking it’s okay for me to reply to Lowell. If Sebastian can have his old friends back, why can’t I?
I glance at the coffee bar in the kitchen. Would it be okay for me to interrupt by entering the room? Before Sebastian’s memory loss, I wouldn’t have thought twice about this.
I take a hesitant step. Nathan’s gaze swings in my direction. His brown eyes connect with mine. He stands, that mega-watt smile I remember brightening the room instantly.
“Ainsley!” He walks toward me, his arms open wide.
“Hey!” I wasn’t expecting a greeting like this.
We hug, and he steps back to take me in. “You look exactly the same. It’s like I’ve gone back in time.” He glances at Sebastian and then back at me. “Unbelievable.”
“Like a dream, right?” That’s how it felt when Sebastian returned to my life three months after I’d been told he died.
“It’s crazy.”
“I’m sorry we couldn’t tell you.”
He waves my words away. “Don’t apologize. I understand completely. And now we’re here, and Sebastian is alive.” He smiles at him.
“How long have you been here?”
He checks his watch. “Two hours.”
He got here two hours ago? I shouldn’t let it hurt me that Sebastian didn’t bother to wake me. Maybe he thought I needed the sleep? Or maybe he didn’t want me interrupting their reunion.
