Page 28 of Hit the Ground
I took her hand in mine and gave it a squeeze before dropping it. Joy wasn’t the touchy-feely type, so I didn’t push my luck.
“I went shopping last weekend—with other people.”
Elena and Margot had swept me off to Cheyenne, just like they’d said. Now I had drawers and a closet filled with clothes they’d stamped their approval on. And they’d been right—purple was definitely my color. I may have gone overboard with it, but that was okay. I doubted anyone but me would notice what I was wearing anyway.
Joy nodded. “That’s a step in the right direction, at least.” Her mouth turned down as she peered at me. “You ever want to talk about her?”
My hand paused on its way to tucking my hair behind my ear. “Who?”
“Your sister. You haven’t said a word since you got that letter. I’ve been waiting for you to bring her up.”
I stuffed my hands in my apron pockets, sighing. “There’s nothing to talk about. We weren’t close. It’s sad she’s gone, but she didn’t have an easy life. The last few years…I don’t know how bad it got. She wouldn’t allow it. She’s not in pain anymore, though, and that’s a relief.”
“All that might be true, but that’s all her. You didn’t say anything about you—how you’re feeling.”
I should have known this was coming. Joy wasn’t one to drop things, and despite our differences and her gruff, closed-off nature, I didn’t doubt she cared about me.
“I think…” I bit down on my bottom lip, searching for the right words. “I think I did my grieving when Silla cut off contact with me. And…I guess I’m sad about what a waste her life was, and that there’s no possibility of reconciliation. But for me, she’s been gone for a long time.”
Joy clamped her hand on my shoulder a little too hard, like she wasn’t used to comforting someone.
“I hope that’s how it stays, Alice. If it hits you out of the blue, you come to me. I’m not much of a hugger, but if you need it, my arms are open to you.”
She left me quickly, avoiding my glassy eyes and the little sniffle I couldn’t hold back. She shouldn’t have said such lovely things if she didn’t want to deal with the consequences.
Pulling myself together, I went to work, taking orders and delivering drinks and food with my brightest smile. After all this time, the movements were rote, so my mind drifted.
To Caleb and his too-late apology. To Jesse and the miracle of his curious mind. To Silla, who hadn’t let me love her, no matterhow many parts of myself I gave. To Joy, who had let me in despite herself.
I kept Joy’s words closest. They were a reminder I wasn’t as alone as I sometimes felt. I had at least one person in my corner without me having to ask.
The thought didn’t take away the sting of rejection or the deep, hollow ache of loneliness, but it steadied me, giving me something to stand on when the floor felt shaky.
Exactly what I needed.
Chapter Ten
Alice
Fortheseconddayin a row, Caleb blocked out the light around him. He found me in the stacks, his massive shadow suddenly looming over me. I let out a yelp and jumped backward, hitting the book cart beside me.
His arm shot out, catching my elbow. Once I was steady, I removed my arm from his grasp.
“Sorry,” he murmured, holding up his hands. “I thought you saw me coming.”
I pressed my hand over my fluttering heart. “I didn’t. I was concentrating on my task.”
“Sorry,” he repeated. “I’ll give you a warning sign next time.”
“That sounds like a good idea.” I licked my lips, but it didn’t do much good. “Jesse should be at his favorite table.”
“He is. I spoke with him.”
“Okay…” I took a step back, tucking my hair behind my ear. Caleb’s eyes followed the movement.
“You changed your hair.”
My mouth fell open, stunned. Not only had he noticed, but he’d remarked on it. Admittedly, it looked great. I’d perfectedusing the curling iron, only burning myself once. But why was he bringing it up? Why was he here, talking to me at all?
