Page 27 of Hit the Ground
“Good.” He nodded and dropped his hands to his sides. “I’m sorry for the way I spoke to you. It wasn’t right. I could tell you I have a lot going on right now, but that’s no excuse.”
“No, it isn’t. I have a lot going on as well, but I don’t take it out on other people.”
He jerked slightly, as if I’d surprised him with my rebuke.
Dang it, he deserved it.
He’d made me feel about two inches tall—on top of rejecting me a couple weeks ago.
He swallowed, glancing down at the floor before looking back at me. His eyes were like melted chocolate, so earnest, it made something inside me twist.
But I ignored it. Or tried to.
“I read the information,” he said. “About that camp. Robotics and coding and engineering…sounds like a good opportunity.”
I folded my hands in front of me, fighting the urge to fiddle with the hem of my sweater. “It is. It’s one of the best STEM camps in the country for kids his age. I thought of him as soon as I heard about it.”
“I believe that, and I understand why it’d be good for him.” He nodded slowly, rubbing his jaw like he was working something out in his mind. “The thing is, I’ve got five years left with him. I know he’s not staying in Wyoming for college, and if I’m honest with myself, he won’t be back after he gets his education. At least, not to live. The thought of losing some of the little time I have left kills me—and I already have to split it in half with his mom.”
“That makes sense,” I said, and I meant it. No matter what I felt about Caleb, I didn’t doubt he loved his son down to his bones. It was part of what made him so attractive to me.
Dang it.
“It’s no excuse, though.” He pinned me with more earnest staring. “I shouldn’t have stormed in all half-cocked and gottenin your face. There was no call to do that, and I’m more than sorry I went there with you.”
“I accept your apology.”
He sighed, and it was a tired sound, like the weight of the ranch and his son and his entire life pressed down on his chest. “Appreciate you doing that. And for looking out for Jess. He loves coming here, talking to you. I’d hate to ruin that for him.”
“You didn’t.” I tucked my hair behind my ear. “You couldn’t.”
“Thanks.”
He looked so worn out, standing there in his dusty jeans and gray T-shirt, boots scuffed, hair tousled from his hat. A part of me wanted to reach out, smooth his hair, and tell him he was doing a good job. But I kept my arms tight against my sides.
The truth was, it would be easier to get over him now. After seeing this side of him—the rigid, defensive side that lashed out before thinking—I didn’t want to hold on to the little hopes I’d carried for so long. He’d also shown me, while I’d been pining away for him, memorizing his tells and hanging on his every word, he hadn’t even bothered to learn a single thing about me.
“Anyway,” he said, shifting his weight. “I’m going to look into the camp. See if we can make it work.”
“That’s great. I think he’d thrive there.”
His eyes flicked over my face, lingering for half a breath before he nodded and turned away. As he walked toward his son’s table, I let out a slow, quiet sigh.
Maybe it would hurt a while longer. Eventually, I’d let go of what I’d once wanted with him.
What I wanted now was someone who saw me from the start—and didn’t need to be convinced to treat me with care.
Joy waylaid me as soon as I ducked behind the bar. She’d been watching me like a hawk the past couple weeks, as if waiting for me to break down.
“Not ready to quit yet?” she asked.
I laughed as I took off my jacket and grabbed my apron. “No. I told you I like working here. It’s not about the money.”
She crossed her arms. “How’re you ever going to build a life when you’re either here or at the library every second of the day?”
I tied my apron in a neat bow. “That’s a gross exaggeration, and you know it. You haven’t let me work Saturdays in ages.”
“’Cause you should be out there, enjoying your youth. I’ve never been one to think a woman needs a man—youdon’t—but everyone needs to let loose.” She tugged on the ends of my hair. “You let your hair down, now what’re you gonna do about it?”
