Page 84 of The Fangirl Project
“We’re fine,” I end up saying. “Just, you know. Christmas. School. Stuff.”
Mercifully, they let it drop, and I’m left to scroll on my phone at the table while the two of them work in tandem to load the dishwasher and pack away leftovers. Dad says something that makes Mom laugh—a tinkly, mirthful sound—and she swats him lightly with the tea towel.
It’s so disgustingly cozy and domestic, the words finally come spilling out of me.
“You’re not getting back together, are you?”
“What?” says Dad, and they both turn, confused, processing what I just said. I clamp my mouth shut, horrified that I even said it at all, hoping maybe I can pass it off as them mishearing or me saying it at something on my phone, but then they exchange a look and Mom sighs, coming back over to the dining table. Dad clips a lid onto the tub of leftovers and joins us.
They both drag out chairs, the noise like nails on a chalkboard, and my heart is in my throat.
Fab work, Cerys, they’re sitting down for A Talk. Last time they did this, it was because you got a week’s worth of detentions for cutting PE class with Jake and the others. What fresh hell have you unleashednow?
Mom sighs again, folding her hands on the table, but not before I see them shaking. Dad reaches over and places one of his hands over hers, giving them a reassuring squeeze.
And again, I blurt, “You are, aren’t you? You’re getting back together. You’re not going through with the divorce. You’re—”
“Cerys,” Dad interrupts. “We’renotgetting back together.”
In a voice that’s so timid it hardly sounds like Mom at all, she says, “We’ve just been trying to make more of an effort for…well, for you. This hasn’t been easy for us, and we know that we get a little…carried away, sometimes. That can’t be very easy for you, either. And it’s Christmas.”
“So?”
“So we—we just…”
“What next, you’ll tell me Santa Claus isn’t real?” I snap, scowling. “I’m not a child. I’m notstupid.I’m—”
“Youarea child,” Dad says. “That’s…That’s…”
“What? The problem?” Great, amazing, first Jake, now my parents.
Mom cuts him a look filled with more of their old animosity before saying to me, “This whole thing has been difficult and drawn out, and there’s still things we’re trying to sort through with the lawyers, but we wanted that to impact you as little as possible. There’s been so much upheaval foryou,we were…”
“Trying to keep the ship steady,” Dad fills in, with what I’m willing to bet is some metaphor provided by their couples’ counselor. I give him a deadpan look—as if this ship haseverbeen steady. He raises an eyebrow, clearly agreeing, but only says, “What with me moving out—”
“And you off to a new school…,” Mom adds.
“And uni on the horizon…”
“And…well, and with things getting serious with…with Jeremy.”
“With—what?” I interrupt. “Wait. Who’sJeremy?”
Momblushes.
Oh my God. Oh myGod,I’m such an idiot! Of course she’s not out with friendsthatoften—of course her book club didn’t suddenly go from once a month to every few days. I was so busy worrying that Dad might be moving back in that I never stopped to consider why Mom was goingout.
I can’t believe my mom, the bitter divorcée, has a more successful love life than I do.
“You have aboyfriend?” I blurt, and look at Dad and say, “Areyoudating someone, too? Are you both—?”
Mom cringes. “It’s very early days. He’s divorced as well, and he’s got two kids—younger than you. We’re…taking things very slowly.”
“Right.” Right, except—wrong, so wrong. Since when did my mom lead this double life where I potentially have future stepsiblings?! She starts trying to reassure me that she’s not moving a whole new family into our house and that’s not what this is about…
I’m stunned speechless, and her words wash over me.
They’re still getting a divorce. This new civility isn’t them trying to make it work, it’s them…moving on.Or trying to, anyway. The relief is so immense I feel like my chest might cave in, and I think about how I can’t wait to pour all of this in a long, rambly Discord message to Jake. He’ll never believe it, he’ll…
