Page 85 of The Fangirl Project
Not answer, because he’s not talking to me.
My face must fall because Mom pauses to say, “Cerys? Are you all right? I’m sorry, darling, I know this is a lot. I didn’t want to spring it on you quite like this.”
“Itoldyou it was too soon,” Dad mutters, and she glares at him.
“No, it’s not…it’s not that, it’s…” I really don’t fancy getting into the whole Jake drama right now; this conversation has been emotionally exhausting enough already. And saying it out loud will make it real. I’m not ready for that.
I think about theOf Wrath and Runeepisode I was rewatching earlier. Lady diSilver’s family had allied with the evil usurpers in the palace, even issued a warrant for her safe arrest, and faithful Devon had tried to comfort her now that they were on opposing sides—enemies. I think about the earnest look she gave him inresponse.
“We are not on opposing sides, Devon. We are all making our choices for the good of the kingdom, the good of our people, because it is our duty. We are all trying to do the right thing for those who matter most to us. I cannot blame them that their path looks different thanmine.”
The whole duty thing and the fact they’re talking about quests for long-lost magickal beings aside, she had a point.
I take a deep breath, and the smile I give my parents feels more sincere than any of the brush-offs and hasty side steps I’ve gotten away with for the past few months.
“I’m not upset. I’m…I’m glad you told me about all this. But don’t feel like you have to do the whole ‘forced family fun time’ thing for me. Seriously. I mean, that’s not exactly beennormalfor us, even before you were getting the divorce,” I point out, and they pull faces, abashed. “It’s…it’s okay with me if us spending time together looks…different, I guess is what I’m trying to say.”
In fact, I’d welcome it.
They swap another look, both visibly relaxing. Mom gets up to come and give me a hug while Dad says, “That’s really mature of you, Cerys.”
“All that therapy you guys have been doing must’ve rubbed off on me,” I say, smothered in Mom’s embrace, and we all laugh. She drops a kiss on my forehead.
“I’m sorry we didn’t talk to you about it properly, love. We’ll be more upfront and honest going forward, yes?”
I nod, and as she starts to peel away, I hug her a little tighter.
“Actually…actually,” I repeat, then haul down a deep breath. “In the spirit of beinghonest,I’ve…well, I’ve been thinking lately.About uni. About what I want to study. And I think maybe…maybe I’d like to do art, instead of business and media.”
“You would?” Dad says, surprised. “But I thought you weren’t that interested in it these days?”
Meanwhile, Mom says excitedly, “You do? Oh, Cerys, that’s lovely! You’ve always had such a talent!”
I pull back now, staring between them. “Wait. You’re…notmad?”
Mom laughs. “Why would we be?”
“Well, because…I mean, Dad always…I thought youboth…”
Am I missing something? Did I imagine all those arguments between them about it?
Catching on, Mom sighs, and Dad tells me, “Cerys, just because I made decisions aboutmycareer doesn’t mean you’ll be in the same boat. We were young, we had a kid and a mortgage. I had to think about more than just whatIwanted to do.”
“We never meant foryouto stop pursuing it, if it’s something you’re passionate about,” Mom adds. “I think it’s safe to say we both assumed you were good at it, but not necessarilypassionateaboutit.”
Dad raises his eyebrows at me. “Are you?”
“Y-yeah. I am. A lot.”
“Right!” He stands up, clapping his hands. “Where are all those uni prospectuses? We’d better start having a proper look at their art courses.”
Mom gives me a squeeze. “Have you got some finished pieces you can show us? I’d love to see them.”
Omigod,no.As if I need to get into all the fandom stuff, too…But maybe that wouldn’t be such a bad thing?
I’ve been so worried about keeping the ship steady, like Dad put it. Not making a fuss about my artwork, not wanting to lose Jake, not wanting to be too openly friendly with Anissa in case it cost me the girls, even trying to force Max out to salvage my own friendship with Jake at the cost of his…And where’s that gotten me?
Where has it gotten any of us?
