Page 28 of Plea
He groaned, and I immediately shut my mouth. “Here you go with this nagging shit again. Ain’t no real man about to constantly placate your feelings, Venus. Even if he making it seem like he will, he won’t. That shit is overwhelming and I ain’t built for that.”
Now, it was my turn to laugh. “Wow. I’m so glad I called you.”
“Why? Because I helped you come to your senses?”
“No, because you helped me realize I shouldn’t feel bad about leaving you at all. Being emotionally available does not mean you’re placating my feelings. I don’t know what kind of woman you think you’re going to have that won’t require you to care about her wants and needs beyond money. If you can’t provide a safe space for her to be open and honest with you and share how she feels, you’ll never be a protector of her heart. And you certainly didn’t deserve mine. It wasn’t safe with you, and I thank God I realized that. I’m not going to feel bad about not wanting to marry a robot of a man who used money to solve his problems.”
“See. That’s ya fucking problem, Venus. It always comes back to money with you. You weren’t complaining about me throwing money at you when I was?—”
“Pleasedon’t start with that shit again. I’ve heard itenough! Hell, that was part of the reason why I stayed with you as long as I did! I’m so fucking sick of you guilt tripping me about the damn money you’ve given me over the years! If that’s the only thing that makes you feel powerful and valuable, our marriage never would’ve worked, because I’d be damned if I ever relied on you just so you could continue to hold that shit over my head. I hate I even called you, and I’m grateful to God I didn’t marry you.”
After ending the call, I cut my phone off again. I hated I even cared about his ass, but I was also glad I called, because the guiltthat was consuming me quickly faded away. I had to remind myself not to feel bad for wanting to be with a man that loved me the way I wanted and needed to be loved. If considering my feelings and providing the same level of effort spent to get me to keep me was too much for Trevor, no amount of time, loyalty, or money would force me to stay with him.
Carson might have been worried about me moving fast and not giving me time to process the end of my relationship, but he had no idea. Our relationship was over the moment I said yes to Trevor’s proposal. We’d just been going through the motions ever since.
Hours Later
Giggles escapedme as Carson and I lounged in his media room. When he asked if I was hungry, we learned we both loved Mexican food. That led to him doing a grocery order. Together, we made cheese enchiladas, fajitas, and Mexican rice.
He loved Mexican food and soul food. I thought it was bomb that he and his family went to church together and had dinner every Sunday. Though me and my family got together often, it was usually spontaneous and random. I shared with him that my favorite colors were green and pink. His was blue. That conversation led to us somehow talking about the psychology behind colors, and I was a true nerd for random facts and philosophical conversations. I loved the feeling pink gave me, and he gravitated toward yellow things when he needed an energy or mood boost.
We both were extroverts, but I was a shy one. I became livelier the more comfortable I felt around people. Carson lovedto talk and socialize, so I wasn’t surprised to hear he was almost always in somebody’s lounge, bar, or social hour. I, on the other hand, loved planning a good dinner party or kickback for my people. It was cool that community was so important to us, and I was looking forward to the days our families and friends came together to hang out. His friends had already claimed me before he even did, and I couldn’t wait to get closer to all of them.
I thought it was pretty dope that we both loved to travel, watch movies, and read, but I thought I was about to unfriend him already when he admitted he wasn’t into fantasy and paranormal, which were my favorite things to read.
“Okay, wait. So you like thrillers though?” I confirmed, leaning down in the reclining theater seat.
“Yes. I read a lot of different genres but not those two.”
“Why nooot?” I dragged, twinkling my toes. It was crazy how close I felt to this man already, and I loved that for me. As comfortable as I was in his home, I still wasn’t sure if I’d want to leave tomorrow.
“I didn’t read them as a kid, so it felt weird starting up now. Everyone that I know that reads and watches those genres are hardcore fans and devote chunks of their lives to it.”
I had no rebuttal because that was true and I was the exact same way. “Okay, well, you have to at least watch the OGs for each genre. Well, I would want you to read the books forHarry Potterbecause they leave a lot of details out in the movies but I know you’re busy so you can just watch the movies. If you don’t, we can’t be friends. And you have to watch theTwilightsaga too.”
He sucked his teeth and shook his head as his eyes went to the ceiling. “See, I don’t think you realize what you’re getting yourself into but aight. When I start asking you a million questions about the shit, remember it’s your fault.”
“I’ll take that charge,” I agreed through my laugh. “Oh! And when you get done with the movies, you have to take the quiz to see which house you belong to. Then we can watch the series every year. Well, I watch it four times a year.”
Carson looked over at me before bursting into laughter. “I’m looking forward to it, sunshine.”
I felt like he didn’t think I was serious, but I was. I’d gotten a late start when it came down toHarry Potteras well, but I was a true Potterhead now. Currently, I was readingThe Empyreanseries and watchingThe Hunger Games. Even thoughThe Hunger Gameswas considered science fiction, it was still one of my favs too, but Ilovedfantasy.
We continued to talk and share. Carson loved sports and betting, and betting was so profitable for him it was like a second stream of income. Nothing beat live entertainment for me, whether it was music, plays, or sports. He loved water, which explained why his pool was so huge. His eyes lit up as he talked about how cleansed, relaxed, and close to God he felt when he was in and near water—whether that was in the shower, a pool, or beach.
Neither of us paid attention to the time, so when we finally drug ourselves out of the theater room and saw that it was pitch black outside, we realized how long we’d been disconnected from the world. I wasn’t sleepy, but I was tired. The day had been draining in good and bad ways.
Snuggling up against him in bed, I released a content sigh. His hands were all over me. Not sexually, but in an exploratory way. My ass, my hips, my waist, my thighs. Tilting my head, I lowered his by the back of his neck and connected his lips with mine. I could handle the kiss without desiring more until his hand squeezed and caressed my breasts before wrapping around my neck. When I moaned, he pulled away.
“I don’t want the first night we spend together to end in sex, so I need you to cut all that moaning out,” Carson requested, voice shaky, as if his control was hanging on by the thinnest thread.
We’d already shared our sexual history, and I told him I was on birth control. Neither of us made a practice of having unprotected sex, but I knew I wouldn’t want a barrier between us, and he felt the same way too. It was crazy how a different person could change your perspective about things. We didn’t want kids right away, but we were more okay with the risk with each other versus our exes.
“I’d be okay if it did.”
A grin lifted the left side of his mouth. “Are you sure?”
Nodding, I slid his hand between my legs so he could feel how wet my pussy was. “Positive.”
