Page 105 of Bite of Passage
He backed away from her.“I need to figure it out myself.There’s nothing you can do to help.This is on me.”
“It’s not, Skarde.You don’t need to shoulder everything yourself.”
“This isn’t helping either of us.”
“Your solution is for me to go back to the other realm?So you can relax and soul-search or whatever?Alone?Don’t forget how nasty the guys can get over there too.Safety is never guaranteed, here or there.If I remember correctly, the last time you tried dealing with everything yourself, you decided suicide was the right path.”
“I never tried to kill myself.”
“No, you were happy enough to let someone else do it for you.”
“Gemma—”
She held up her hand.“You’re saying if we slow things down by being so far apart there’s no way we could ever contact each other, you’ll be more effective as a warrior against evil?”
“I don’t know!”he yelled.“I know that what happened yesterday can’t happen again.There aren’t people summoning demons into your realm.I refuse to watch you die because I can’t protect you.Something has to change.”
“And that change is me exiting your life?”She was furious because what they had was special.Wasn’t it?She’d never been so consumed by another person, nor had she ever felt safer.Until right now.
“I want to ensure you are somewhere better than here.Your realm may not be a perfect place, but at least there are fewer threats there.I can’t give up battling monsters.There’s no one else to do it.I can’t figure out what’s going on with me if I’m worried that doing so might cause ripples in my world that will kill you.I’m so distracted by what’s going on between us that I’ll probably mess up—and then you’ll die.”
“So I’m what has to change about your life?The newest element gets kicked off the island.”She shook her head with disbelief and headed for the door.
“I can’t watch you die.I can’t be the reason you die.I’m asking you to understand where I’m coming from.”
She stopped.“I understand not wanting to watch the person you love die, not wanting to think that she died because you messed up.No one is perfect.But don’t use your fear as an excuse to push me away because you don’t think you deserve happiness.You’re better than that.”
“You won’t be somewhere else for forever.”He caught her hand, his eyes pleading with her.“I need you to go somewhere evil is less likely to look for you while I figure out the demon part of me.Then I can be the person you deserve.”
“You’re right.Right now, you’re not being the man I deserve.The person I want and deserve is the one who knows that when times get tough, I’m an asset, not a liability.I need a person who doesn’t see me as an obstacle and wants me as a partner.I need you to realize that of all the other women out there I’m the one you can rely on to be on your team.The best way tofigure things outis to not give up on the one good thing you have.You see that, don’t you?”
He dropped his head.
Skarde had already put her on the boat and started the motor to turbojet her off the island.He’d caved to fear.Deep inside, she understood this was the only way he knew how to contend with his need to protect, something so ingrained in him he couldn’t deny it.He had to come to grips with the fact he wasn’t a god.He couldn’t control everything.He couldn’t protect her from every bump or threat.He could give her the tools to fight what may come her way, but then he would have to trust her ability to protect herself.Hadn’t she saved him…how many times, now?At least twice.
She did deserve better.She deserved someone willing to persevere Someone willing to try and believe her when she said she’d be there for him through it all.
“I’ll make this easy on you,” she said, although everything inside her was dying.“I’m going to slow things down real hard.I’ll go back to my realm and get the stuff for VanFliet.I’ll toss it across the portal, but I’m not coming back with it.We’re over.”
“Gemma, that’s not what I’m asking.”
“It’s what you’re getting.Once I cross and that portal closes, I can’t get back to you.It’s done.There are just as many monsters over there as there are here.And some are far worse than those who use magic.”
ChapterForty-Four
Twelve hourslater
Gemma had left.And not returned.
Skarde had pushed her away to keep her safe.At least, that’s what he told himself.
He hoped Gemma understood that all he cared about was her safety.He wasn’t even safe with himself the way he was.Yet, he realized the moment she was gone he had messed up.Again.
Why had he thought sending her back this time would feel different than it had all the times before?
And why was she taking so long to get VanFliet’s medicine?Something wasn’t right.
Skarde paced outside Fontaine’s house where, of course, the rain battered him.
