Page 104 of Bite of Passage
He stood and crossed his arms.“Despite all we’ve been through, you never got to make your own choice to be here.They…the mages protecting…you did something to force you over here and into my life.Then they made sure you were mortally injured to force me to make you vampire.They banked on my inability to let you die.They stole the potential for you to live a normal lifespan with natural children.”
“I’d be dead if you hadn’t made that decision.”
“An outcome decided for us by meddling magical people.You have to go back to your world to find out if this is where you belong.You had a life in that other place, helping people.If you’re certain you want to leave it behind, then you need to tie up ends there.”His voice was soft and measured.
“I belong here!”Why did she need to argue this?“Vampires don’t exist where I come from except in fiction.How would I eat?Where would I get blood?Are you recommending I go around biting and killing people?”Her stomach churned at the thought of drinking from humans.
“You’re a survivor.Your need to acquire blood and avoid daylight won’t hold you back.”
Gemma scooted into his lap and pressed her mouth to his throat, remembering vividly the first time he’d asked her to bite him there.Hunger rose like a red haze in her mind, such that nothing existed other than her need to taste his blood.Her teeth grazed his skin.
A moan escaped him, but waves of grief poured off him.
She murmured, “I’m so hungry.”
“Take from me,” he rasped out.
She bit.Yet, she tried to be gentle.
His body bowed up as she straddled his hips, feeling his arousal between her thighs.She took great draws from his neck until the hunger receded.Although she’d licked his neck to encourage it to heal, she still smelled his blood.Bringing his fisted hands up, she unrolled his fingers and licked the small crescent marks where his nails had dug in.
“I only want to drink fromyou.I don’t want to bite people or any other vampire.”She stared up at his seductive mouth and wished he’d kiss her.She tried to smooth his frown lines, wanting to erase the desperate desire mixed with sadness.“Leaving you is wrong.”On a whispered exhale she asked, “Why are you pushing me away?”
He lifted and placed her back on the bed.“Stay there.I want to be buried deep inside you so much.I’m at the edge of losing it.If we… I’ll never be able to… This time, I’m doing what’s right.”He raked a hand through his hair.“You’ll never be safe here.The Directorate wants you.Everyone in need of a medicinal will be after you.They won’t want a courteous consult.They’ll want to enslave you.”
“I’m safer with you.”
“I can’t always be here.I have to go when I’m called for a job.It’s a part of who I am, what I’ve become.”
“Teach me how to fight, how to be helpful when you deal with the deranged magical creatures.I refuse to be a burden or a distraction.”
He shook his head.“You’re so strong, Gemma.It amazes me.But right now, you will go home.”
“Why do you want to get rid of me?Why now?”She couldn’t think or breathe.
“I almost lost you yesterday.I almost couldn’t figure out what I needed to do quickly enough.I almost lost Cade when he thought he could take down the demon on his own.It’s a bloody miracle you’re not messed up after being possessed by that thing and that Cade survived.”Skarde scraped a hand through his hair.“You nearly died.”
“But I didn’t.You were there.You did figure it out.”
“What about next time?And the time after that?The odds aren’t in our favor for it to always work out.”
“You don’t have to figure this all out by yourself.You don’t have to fight these things alone.There’s me, and Cade, and maybe VanFliet, although he’s a wild card.Nah, forget him.He’s crazy.But you’re not an island with a monopoly on killing magical shits.”
“I am the island.There’s only me, uniquely fucking perfect for the job, like you told me.”He stood.“I’ve been alone ever since I started doing this.Having you in the wings won’t change that.It simply adds to the complexity, having someone else I need to protect.Especially when you’ll want to try to fix the thing and miss the signs before it tries to kill you.”
“I want to help,” she whispered.
“But you won’t.”His voice softened for a second.“You being there will make it worse.So much fucking worse.”
“For who?You?Because you think like you’ll have to babysit me like a toddler?”Her heart was shattering into a million fragments.This sure sounded like Skarde was breaking up with her.
He covered his face.“This—you and me—has all been so fast.It’s too much for either of us to get a grip on.I’m not cut out for this kind of thing.”
“What kind of thing?”
“We need to slow it down.I need to figure out how I can keep you safe and out of the line of fire and…” He fisted his hands.“I’m not some knight who can romance you with flowery words and keep you safe all the time.I’m not a hero.I have new things I discovered about myself to contend with.Scary fucking things that make me more dangerous.I’m not even sure exactlywhatI am anymore.”
“Don’t shut me out when things get hard.”Gemma’s lips trembled as she stepped closer to him.“It’ll get better.Don’t shut me out now.You need me.You can’t do this alone.”
