Page 49 of Hesi-Dating
"I just said this is different, but I can't…don't want to feel," I whispered. "I want to but I have issues. There are reasons I can't let myself feel the way you want me to."
"Why not? Are you married and forgot to tell me?" Mirth swirled in his gaze.
"No."
"Did you commit a felony that'll make me have to arrest you?"
"No. Nothing like that."
"Something makes you afraid of allowing anyone to get close." His eyebrows drew together. Little wrinkles formed between them. "Did someone hurt you when you were young?"
I compressed my lips together. My chest felt tight. The desire to run hit hard. I hadn't talked about this with any lover. Ever.
He craned away so no part of him touched me while I was beneath him on the bed. He shifted to sit beside me instead of over me. His large hand enveloped mine. "We can stop. I don't want anything to scare you or hurt you. I'll give you whatever you need so long as you let this be real for both of us. I don't want you to shut down because you feel like you must in order to survive. Please don't go through the motions but keep your head out of this while I'm fully in this. Do you understand me? If we need to wait until you're ready for that…"
He was asking me to trust him, something more terrifying than any physical sensation.
He traced circles over the top of my hand. "Maybe this is as far as we can go for right now?"
"I trust you, Seth."With a sigh I leaned in and kissed him with everything inside me that I never let out. With all the emotion I kept locked up. "I feel it. It means something to me, but I'm still probably going to hurt you. Try not to hate me later."
He seemed surprised but his hands returned to my back, smoothing down the curve of my spine. Then they hesitated.
I put his hand on one of my breasts. "I'm over the past in ways that let me be physical without being hung up on it."
He broke the kiss to suck in a breath. He ducked his head as he gently learned the size and shape of my breast. No hurrying. No tearing at clothing or taking.
"They are incredible," he whispered. Even though he didn't let go of his gentle hold, his gaze didn't sway from mine. "But they're not what I love most." He put his other hand over my chest. Over my heart. "It's what's in here. Your bravery. Your big heart."
Barely audible I whispered, "I don't know what's in there anymore."
My nipples hardened into peaks desperate for his mouth. I'd never wanted anyone's hands on me as much as I wanted his.
"We'll find out. You sure you want this?"
"Yes." I leaned in to kiss him deeply. "I want you deep inside me. I want to feel you come hard."
"I want to feel you coming around me." With a wicked grin that shot excitement to my center, he leaned in to take one of my nipples into his mouth.
ChapterSeventeen
SETH
I had to keep my mind clear when everything about her made me mad with desire to consume her and burn in the fire that was between us. I'd never seen anything more beautiful in my life than this woman arching up to my lips as I sucked her nipples.
She put my hand between her legs, giving me permission. I teased her through her underwear, pleased to find her wet. She gasped when I slid a finger around her underwear to finger along her slit.
"If you don't make me come," she said hoarsely, "I mean, right now…If you don't, I'm going to lose my mind."
I chuckled low and dangerous. Challenge on. I kissed down her soft belly and wiggled her underwear down her legs, over her heels, and off. Then settled between her legs. I placed kisses up the inside of her calf. The first stroke was with my fingers. The second was with my mouth.
She moaned and arched up to me. Every nerve ending, every molecule was focused on her reaction. Nothing else mattered.
I kissed and explored the sweetness of her with my mouth and fingers, watching her breathing change and hitch. With a sudden gasp she arched up and convulsed against me. Breathless cries came from her but I didn't ease up, wanting everything from her until she calmed.
I crawled up to lie next to her on the bed.
Moments later she said, "I think I died. That was amazing."
