Page 30 of Ruin
I peel off my clothes and toss the mask aside, lying on my bed with my hand between my legs. Closing my eyes, I imagine that it’s Sebastian’s finger rolling over my clit. Picturing his perfect face burying itself between my thighs to run his tongue through my pussy. My breath hitches and I work my clit harder with my thumb as I slide my finger into my pussy. Biting my lip as I moan, I ride my hand, circling my hips as imaginary Sebastian sucks on my clit. Reaching up with my other hand, I grip my breast and pretend it’s Imogen’s hand, massaging it like she had done to Annika’s.
As I climb closer to release, my mind conjures up various images of several mouths descending upon me, each intent on bringing me pleasure.
And as the orgasm crashes over me, the fog lifts, and the fantasy slowly ebbs away.
Instead of feeling satisfied though, disappointment overcomes me, and I’m regretting my actions. Not because I’m ashamed. But because there’s now just one more thing I want that I can never have.
Half an hour later, after tossing and turning in a uselessattempt to fall asleep, I throw on a shirt and open my bedroom door, intent on getting a glass of water. But I come to an abrupt halt when I see Sebastian sitting in the dimly lit room. I hadn’t heard him come in, and I wonder how long he’s been there.
The sleeves of his white dress shirt are rolled up to his elbows with the buttons undone, his perfect abs on display as he swirls a glass of whiskey in one hand, his piercing blue eyes running over me.
“Have an interesting night, Lily?” he asks, his voice dangerously low.
I clear my throat. “Not really. Just been reading.”
He leans forward to rest his elbows on his knees, his eyes narrowing as his gaze fixes on my hair. “Were you now? And what might you have been reading about?”
“Nothing you’d be interested in,” I reply, my throat growing dry.
He rises to his feet and moves to stand in front of me, lifting my chin so that my gaze meets his, the determination in his eyes demanding answers. “You’d be surprised what interests me. For example, I’m interested to know why you have curled your hair and applied makeup while you’ve been here alone. Care to enlighten me?” he asks in that same low, controlled voice.
I struggle to breathe as I realise he knows exactly where I’ve been.
“I…” All thoughts flee my mind as he continues to hold me captive with those piercing eyes that can see deep into my soul.
“How about I tell you what I think you were doing? I think, instead of remaining here like I asked, you decided that it would be a good idea to sneak downstairs and see what was happening. I think you were surprised to discover you had walked into an orgy. I think you decided to explore the private rooms.” His expression hardens as his grip on my chin tightens. “And I think you stood and watched something you shouldn’t have.”
While he’s clearly angry, I’m not afraid of him. He bears no resemblance to Joseph, who would have flown into a rage the moment he saw me. Even angry, Sebastian is the picture perfect image of control.
I have no answer to that, and he nods after a moment. “That’s what I thought.”
Emboldened, I lift my chin higher, refusing to look away. “What did you expect? That I’d show no interest in what happens in this place? I’m surrounded by people who fuck for money. Of course I was curious.”
The muscle in his jaw flutters as his gaze narrows. “Do you have an idea how lucky you were that you stole a red mask tonight? If you’d taken a green, or worse, black mask, things would have gone very differently. And I wouldn’t have known you were there to keep anything from happening to you.”
I pull my face away from his grasp entirely and cross my arms over my chest. “Maybe I wanted something to happen to me. Did you ever consider that?”
For the first time since I’ve met him, all those years ago, it appears that I have surprised him.
As his eyebrows raise and he studies my face, the anger in his eyes disappears momentarily. “No. I hadn’t considered that.”
I refuse to look away. “Well, maybe you should have.”
He steps back, putting distance between our bodies. “I don’t think that’s a good idea, Lily.”
I scowl. “Why? Because I’m too innocent and pure?”
“Yes,” he replies, his gaze hardening once again. “You have no idea what you’re asking for.”
I step forward, too pissed off to question my sudden emboldened behaviour. “I know exactly what I’m asking for,Sebastian DeLuca. I’m not the meek little mouse you remember from all those years ago. I have been through hell and sold my soul to the devil. So don’t you dare act like I’m some fragile little girl that you need to protect.”
He takes another step back, and I’m pleased to see that he looks taken aback as he grips the back of his neck and stares at me. Serves him right for thinking that he can tell me what I can and can’t handle.
“Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need a glass of water.”
He stays where he is for a moment longer before finally stepping aside, and I stalk past him. Silently filling a glass with water from the tap over the kitchen sink, I march back into my room, slamming the door closed behind me without giving him a second glance.
And wonder how I’ll ever be able to look him in the eye again.
