Page 46 of Choosing Hope
I stretch my eyes wide. “If I want to find out what’s going on, what other choice do I have?”
He leans forward, the table creaking under his weight. Taking my hand in his, he tugs it gently to indicate he wants me nearer. I let him guide me onto his lap.
“I’m not promising to help you, but I’ll always be here to support you.” He pauses allowing his words to sink in. “My bigger concern is Spencer, he’s struggling Soph. He always has and I don’t know how to help him, I’ve tried for years.”
My concerned eyes find his.
“I need some time to get my head around all this but tell me what your plan is. If I can help, I’ll try,” he promises.
My shoulders drop, the tension in my chest unclenching a fraction.
I explain how I procured the information on the club and ask him if there’s any way of gaining access without involving him.
He studies me, swiping the hair back from my face.
“Can you wait?”
I shake my head.
“Just hold on and see if he’ll come to you. Let me see if I can encourage him to tell you what’s going on. Spencer adores you Sophie, I don’t think this is about you directly. It’s an old wound that’s never healed.”
I slump forward, pressing my fingertips against my closed eyes.
“It’s gone on too long. This is all I can think about day and night. I can’t eat or sleep. It’s not fair to Lily, Carlo.”
I sit back with a sigh. “Maybe it’s best if we just pack up and go.”
“No. No, don’t do that,” he says urgently.
Somehow, I’ve got to explain my logic. I stare at the wall, considering the best method.
“If I could witness the dynamic between them, perhaps things would be different. Maybe I’d understand better, but right now I’m lost.”
He squeezes me tighter. In his own way, offering me a gesture of support. I relax, allowing myself to lean into him.
“Recently he’s changed the rules without telling me, and I hate being the little woman at home, while he goes out fucking everything that moves.”
“Not everything,” he replies, one dark eyebrow arched pragmatically.
“We haven’t been together frequently since you found out you were pregnant with Lily. He’s doing everything he can to resist his desires.”
I cover my mouth with my fingers as Carlo looks deep into my eyes. I sense he hasn’t finished, but is uncertain whether he should share all this detail.
“When we’re together in Italy, we often try to comfort each other through our grief.”
A sad smile dances on my lips, pleased they still had each other during such difficult moments.
“Don’t blame yourself, Bella. Your actions triggered our separation, but Spencer’s always struggled with his attraction to me.”
His fingers drew a pattern on my forearm, and we both followed his movement.
“When we were all together, he could justify it to himself as being something we did for you.”
He lifted his shoulder in a half shrug.
“Once you ended it, and said what you did, you hit him in the jugular, but you didn’t tell him anything he didn’t already know.”
I frown, unwilling to accept his explanation.
