Page 22 of His to Explore
“Exactly. Oh, you’ve never heard of Full-o-shit?” I put on a snooty accent. “He’s highly regarded. That painting has already doubled in value.”
He laughs and I realize I’m grinning too. Grant is a lot easier to talk to about everyday things than I realized.
We continue to chat comfortably until the waiter appears with our plates. I raise an eyebrow at Grant when I realize he not only ordered wine, but my entire meal.
He doesn’t look the slightest bit sheepish. In fact, his returning grin is confident enough to border on arrogance. “Chef’s Bourguignonis amazing. You’ll love it.” He squeezes my thigh. “And if you don’t, you can request anything else you want.”
I should argue with him, but the way his hand feels on my leg lulls me into warm compliance. And he’s right—the Beef Bourguignon is amazing.
As we eat, he asks me more questions about my work and about Gemma. When I ask him what he’s been working on, I half expect him to deflect. Fred had never talked to me about his work—I was way too stupid to understand things like finance and stocks.
But Grant seems perfectly comfortable telling me about his clients and the work he’s doing for them. I have to struggle not to let my jaw drop when he mentions some sums. I knew he was one of the most successful hedge fund managers on the east coast, but numbers like that are more than I could even conceive.
And way more than anything Fred has ever accomplished. Not that it’s a competition or anything.
“What’s that smirk for?” Grant asks. Of course he noticed.
I shrug. “Just thinking about how smug my ex was about his investments. He was dealing with peanuts compared to you.”
There’s a barely imperceptible flash in his eye at my words, but he tamps it down quickly and changes the subject.
It’s not until our plates are empty that I realize we’ve been chatting this whole time without a single mention of the club or our arrangement. And it hasn’t even felt weird.
It’s been nice, actually.
“So,” he says, after the waiter has come to take our dessert order and clear our plates. “I wanted to discuss some things with you.”
Here we go,I think, my stomach dropping. Is this the part where he tells me the arrangement is no longer working for him? Had dinner just been a consolation prize so he could let me down easily?
“Specifically, I want to discuss some things that I’d like to change.”
My beautiful dinner turns to lead in my stomach and I wish I hadn’t eaten so much. Throwing up in a restaurant this nice would be mortifying.
“What kind of things?” I manage to whisper.
Grant slips an arm around me and places his free hand at my chin, tilting it up so I have to look at him. He keeps it there, his thumb running gentle circles over my skin. His eyes are still warm and dark. He doesn’tlooklike he’s about to drop me.
“Do you remember what I told you the other night? That me doing everything you wanted wasn’t necessarily what was good for you?”
Oh God, I knew this was going to happen. Whatever he might have said about me not feeling shame for wanting to be punished, he obviously thinks it was fucked up. He’s going to tell me he doesn’t want to be that escape for me anymore, probably suggest I get therapy or?—
“I’m proposing you agree to trust me to know what’s good for you.”
My forehead scrunches in confusion. “What do you mean?”
“I’d like us to have a more traditional Dom/sub relationship. I’d like you to let me take control.”
“Don’t you already do that?”
His grin is a little wolfish and I can’t help the way my core reacts to that.
“You give me control in the context of the scenes you’ve requested.” He leans in closer, his lips brushing my ear. “You let me control your body and your pleasure when I’m fucking you.” I can’t stop the full body shiver that runs through me, and from the way his eyes flash, he likes knowing how much he affects me.
Then he says something that throws cold water all over my desire.
“I want more than that.”
More. The word immediately throws up every one of my defenses. What doesmoremean? Dating? Seeing each other like this outside of the club on a regular basis? Giving up on my list of sexual exploration fantasies?
