Page 101 of Cream & Sugar
“Why are you here, Rory?” I ask.
He blinks at me. “I was looking for you, of course.”
“Why?”
“What do you mean, ‘why?’” he snarls.
“I mean why are you looking for me? You didn’t text or call, you just showed up here.”
Rory seethes. “What the fuck does it matter, Freddie? I tried Sabre first to check you hadn’t drunk yourself to death with the money you owe me. They told me you were there Monday night then fucked off. You didn’t come home.”
“So what, you were worried about me?”
His masseters ripple like a lazy river as he clenches his teeth. “Don’t be stupid.”
“Because it sounds like you were—”
“Shut up, Freddie.”
I fold my arms in defiance, feeling braver with Shaun here.
“Look Rory, whether you want to believe it or not, I feel shit about what happened. Like, really shit. So yes, I went for a drink and I went to see myboyfriend,” I put extra emphasis on the word, “because I thought you might need space. Besides, you haven’t exactly made me feel welcome lately. Or ever.”
Bit harsh, but Rory doesn’t deal in uncertain terms. I see the fuses blowing in his brain and decide to drill my point home.
“Do you know what I’ve been doing all day? I’ve been applying for shitty night shift jobs so I can pay you back faster because of how bad I feel.” I take a risky step towards him. “And I get if you’re still angry at me—I’d be angry at me too—but don’t come into my work and insult the best man I’ve ever met just because you don’t have the emotional capacity to send a ‘when are you coming home?’ text!”
Oof. That sounded amazing. I look at Shaun whose mouth is hanging open as his gaze flicks between me and Rory.
Rory’s lost for words, which is all the confirmation I need that I’ve hit the nail on the head. My stupid big brother was worried about me but didn’t know how to express it in a non-shouty manner. It’s about time he learned that’s a him problem.
I wait for his comeback, but it never arrives. His skin goes from a violent red to a bashful pink.
After a few painful moments, he says, “Next time, text me if you’re not coming home.”
I nod. “Fine.”
Rory tugs at his tie. It looks tight as a boa constrictor around his neck. He loosens it with a sigh and turns to Shaun, eyes down.
“Sorry. Bad day.” Rory makes for the door, stopping just in front of it and taking a glancing look around the café. “Nice place.”
“Uh, thanks,” Shaun says, but Rory’s already halfway out the door, tail between his impractically big thighs. He waddles off up the street and out of sight.
I exhale for what feels like the first time in five minutes and turn to look at Shaun. “Oh god, I’m so sorry about that!”
Shaun looks exhausted. “It’s okay.”
“All drama in here today, isn’t it?”
“Yeah.”
Shaun’s drumming his fingers on the counter erratically, not meeting my eye. Any chance he’snotthinking about what Rory just said about me? Time for more damage control.
I place both hands behind my neck, wincing as the knotted muscles pinch like crab claws. “Can I explain?"
Shaun nods.
“Okay. So yeah, I did used to have a lot of one-night stands. I can see why Rory thought I just wanted another notch on the bedpost. And sure, when I first saw you, I was attracted to you! I don’t think I exactlyhidthat, and maybe I did tell him I was gonna try and get with you, but that was just, you know, banter. I’m sorry. I really do care about you Shaun. I…” I swallow. This is moving way faster than normal, and yet it feels right. Allons-y, I guess. “I feel more for you than I have for anyone. Ever. Like, it’s not even close.”
