Page 59 of Love Heals
They were talking about regrouping efforts. They were talking about 'exterminating the rats' too.
My stomach clenched. They could only be meaning Jared and his siblings by that.
'Get everyone to come to the morgue on west side' one of the messages read. 'We need to talk about how we're going to take care of our problem.'
I scrolled lower. Knowing where the other vampires were was good, but that wasn't enough for me. I also wanted to know what exactly they were up to.
Sadly, they didn't seem to be discussing that via messenger.
While I was looking for more information, a new text bubble popped up.
"Who's that on Nicolai's account?"
I nearly jumped, tossing the tablet aside. It landed on the floor. For a second or two, guilt pressed down on my chest like my sire’s foot while I was down. What if the tablet was broken?
No,I told myself then.It doesn't matter if it's broken. It doesn't matter if you breakall ofNicolai's things.
Now there was a tempting thought. I should start with that fucking cage. I glared at it, even though it was hidden under the sheets.
Jumping off the bed, I took a deep breath, and then I smiled, because now I knew exactly why I had come here, how I was going to get my 'closure.'
I was going to do all the things I always wished I could do, and I started off by making my way down to the kitchen and raiding Nicolai's fridge. There was blood in there. Good blood. Not the shit laced with animal blood that he liked to feed me so much. Well, that was in there too, but I didn't have to drink it. I took a bottle of it out anyway—and then I smashed it against the kitchen tiles.
That felt good. Almost too good. The grin on my face widened. I was never, ever, going to drink animal blood again. Take that, you fucker.
You're out of control, a voice in my head said.He'll punish you for this.
I told that voice to shut the hell up, and then I took a big swig of real blood. It went down my throat like the nectar of the gods. Like liquid power. I could do anything I wanted to. For the first time in my vampire life, maybeever,I was free.
The bottle still raised to my lips, I left the kitchen behind to inspect the rest of the house. There, in the living room was the TV that Nicolai sometimes liked to watch. That he let me watch sometimes, if I was being good—even though it would still be his shows we were watching. I picked up the remote. It felt like a magic wand in my hand. Feeling silly, I waved it around a few times. When nothing happened, I snapped it in half and let the pieces fall to the floor.
Time to move on to the main event.
Back in the master bedroom, I ripped the sheets off the cage and shoved it to the floor. Then I kicked it against the wall until all the bars bent under the weight of my shoe.
No bird would ever be incarcerated in this thing again. Vampire or not.
I gave it another kick, and then another one. I didn't stop until it was barely recognizable anymore, a mess of golden metal on the bedroom carpet.
Breathing heavily, I lay down on the bed again and drained the rest of the blood from the bottle. Once it was empty, I hurled it against the wall.
Nicolai would havehatedthe mess that made. He would have made me clean it up. He would have starved me until I was crying, begging and promising that I would never do it again. And then he would have kissed my tears away.
My cheeks burned at the thought, because now I was picturing it. Because I knew I would have leaned into him. I would have latched on to every ounce of comfort he was willing to give. I would have enjoyed every deceptively gentle touch, every caress...
Shit, I had to stop thinking about that.
Nicolai never loved me and I didn't love him. I needed to keepthatin mind. I was free now, which meant I didn't have to think about him anymore. I could be my own man!
I could be with someone who actually cared about me. Who wouldn't set up ridiculous rules and ridiculous expectations. Someone like Jared.
Closing my eyes, I tried to picture Jared, wanting to have him fill my thoughts instead of my sire. Jared would never abuse me. He would take me and he would give me what I needed, whatever I asked for.
Images flashed through my mind, of Jared's lips, his strong hands.... the way his fingers dug into my hair when we'd kissed. So good. I'd wanted more of that.
I shoved my own hand down my pants.
Nicolai had never let me touch myself, but he wasn't around anymore, so I was gonna go ahead. On his bed. While thinking of someone else. The idea filled me with a sense of satisfaction so deep I was almost instantly hard.
