Page 97 of The Promise Of Rain
“Look, Deacon.I can buy a pretty outfit and dress up, but I will never fit into your circle.You’ll have to leave your entire life behind to be with me.Either that, or you’ll begin to look at me the way your buddy Adam looks at his wife.”
“He’s not my buddy.”
“Sure seemed like it,” she sneered.
“Jenny, he’s not anything to me.I couldn’t care less if I never see the man again.”
“You say that now,” she shook her head, “but you don’t know what’s coming.How much worse it’s going to get.”
“Why didn’t you leave Moose Lake?”I blurted.
She tilted her head and stared at me incredulously.“And leave Ansel?”
I nodded.“I figured.”
She lifted her chin and stared out the windshield.“When Ansel goes, so will I.”
A solid, heavy, ball of terror dropped on my chest like a fifty-pound kettle bell dropped from the fucking sky.“Let’s talk about this when we get home,” I murmured.
I needed to buy myself some time.
Find the right words.
“I think you should just take me home.”
“Not a chance,” I snapped.“You at least owe me a conversation.”
She leaned forward, her seatbelt drawing tight over her chest.“And how does that feel, Deacon?”she snarled.
I blew out a slow breath.
It had to come out sometime.I wasn’t looking forward to it, but I was looking forward to putting it behind us.
I pulled into my driveway.By the time I got my door open, she was standing at the front door, impatiently tapping her foot.
Aligning my chest with her back, I fit my key into the door.
She curled into herself, a muffled sob breaking from her lips.
The sound pierced my heart.She was terrified, her heart fragile, but her will indomitable.
I turned the key and gently prodded her inside.Turning her around, I took her coat before dropping down to one knee to remove her boots.
Her hand ghosted over my hair as she whispered, “Thank you.”
I stood.“Come on,” I urged, wrapping my arm around her shoulders and taking her into the family room.
Her sweet body deflated against mine.
I didn’t want her like this.
I didn’t want her defeated and broken, uncertain and afraid, shrinking and hiding.
I wanted her strong and confidant, sure of my love for her, sure of her place in my heart and my life.And if she wasn’t sure, I wasn’t doing my job.
I sat down on the couch and settled her on my lap.
Tucking her head under my chin, her ear resting over my thundering heart, I began.
