Page 43 of His Surrender
That wasn’t true. The memory of his lips on my temple and the feel of his arms around me as he murmured sweet words in my ear told me he had a lot to offer. The challenge was gettinghimto see that.
“If you can stand there and honestly say you feel nothing for me, then leave.” With another step forward, I was directly in front of him. He breathed deep, glancing at my mouth. “But if youdofeel something… come back to bed.”
Another long pause. My heart was beating so hard I heard it in my ears.
“I can’t,” he finally said before I saw the hint of a smile. “Come back to bed, I mean. I have a cat. A spoiled cat. And he demands cuddles at night.”
I burst into laughter, and before I could respond, he took hold of my chin and brought our lips together. Stunned, I froze at the contact, but then I melted against him and returned his kiss once my brain caught up.
“I do want to try,” he said, resting his forehead on mine. “I’m just afraid I’ll hurt you. I’m not good at this.”
“Apparently I’m not good at it either.” I leaned into his touch. A trace of cigar smoke clung to his shirt from his time at the 906, mixed with his own minty, fresh scent. “I’ve been in a dozen or so relationships and all have failed epically.”
“There’s no guarantee this one will be any better,” he said.
“True. There’s a chance it could be a horrible fucking idea.” I laid my head on his chest. “I’ve had my heart broken too many times to count, and trusting people is hard for me now. But I’m willing to take that leap if you are.”
He rested his cheek on the top of my head, holding me. “Trust is hard for me too.”
Finally.We were making progress. His lack of trust in other people had to have been one of his reasons for not wanting to be in a relationship. By agreeing to try, we were both putting ourselves on the front line.
I cupped his face and kissed him again, letting my lips linger on his a moment. “Just… think about what I said?”
He nodded. “I will.”
That’s all I could ask for.
“Thank you for being here for me tonight.”
Jay hugged me close. “Happy Birthday, Remi,” he whispered in my ear. “Do svidaniya.”
“You said that to me on the phone earlier. What does it mean?”
“It’s a way to say good night,” he answered, placing a hand on the doorknob. “The literal translation, though, isuntil we meet again.”
“Sounds romantic.”
He said nothing, only smiled, before opening the door and stepping outside.
I didn’t know where we stood, if anywhere at all, but I felt a shift between us. A change. One that had me smiling as I closed the door and leaned against it.
***
Tuesday morning, I woke up bleary-eyed and hopped in the shower to help wake me up. I hadn’t seen Jay since Friday, but we’d messaged and talked on the phone a few times over the weekend and some the day before. We were taking things slow to—hopefully—build something solid.
After showering, I was at the bathroom sink brushing my teeth and smiled around the toothbrush when my phone buzzed with a text. I had changed Jay’s name in my contacts, and the chosen name was all too fitting for him.
Beautiful Bastard:Good morning.
I rinsed out my mouth before typing a response.
Me:Morning. Do you have court today?
Jay had told me about the murder trial, and it amazed me how he could handle the stress of something like that. Of course, I’d seen it all over the news before he’d mentioned it, but talking to someone actually involved with it gave a whole new perspective because the media only covered a fraction of the truth.
Beautiful Bastard:Not today. The trial will resume tomorrow. Will still be a long day though. I have other cases that also need attention.
Me:You’re like Superman, aren’t you? No normal person could do what you do.
