Page 76 of His Surrender
“I am,” he snapped. “I need more time.”
“More time? We’ve been doin’ this for two years, Andrew! How much more time do you need?”
“Keep your voice down.” He slapped a hand to my mouth and pinned me against the wall. His gaze searched my face much like mine was doing to his. “Now be a good boy and go take a shower. I’ll join you shortly.”
He dropped his hand from my mouth.
“But—”
“Do as I say.” His voice was just as cold as his icy stare. “I won’t repeat myself.”
It wasn’t until Andrew cut off all communication with me a year later that I realized how stupid I’d been. He’d never had any intention of leaving his wife. Three years I’d wasted with him. That’s also when I’d seen how controlling and emotionally abusive the relationship had been. It was why I had such a hard time surrendering control now—why I had difficulty opening up to people.
The tears I had held back all night finally fell.
Sputnik came over and lay on my chest, purring. I ran my fingers through his fur, knowing how pathetic I was but unable to stop it.
I wanted to take that leap of faith with Remi. But I didn’t know how.
The next morning, I woke with a killer headache and groaned as I got out of bed. Emery had set a glass of water and Tylenol on the nightstand. I smiled. He was such a dad. I popped the pills and downed half the water before starting my day. And what a damn long, exhausting day it was. Trial had been postponed until April, but there was still a ton of work to do at the office.
Garrett and I sat in the conference room sorting through the exhibits and discussing our next plan of action once court resumed.
The defense planned to call a medical expert to the stand and have them say it was possible for the incident to have occurred the way Lindsey Wilson claimed even after my expert had given contradictory testimony saying it was highly unlikely. But thehighly unlikelyclaim still left room for it to be possible, and the defense had jumped at the opportunity to plant a seed of doubt in the jury’s mind.
“We’ll need more coffee, I think,” Garrett said before sighing and tossing the stack of papers on the table.
“Make it extra strong?”
“You got it.” He left the room.
Garrett was fresh out of law school, and this was his first big case. He’d done great on it, though, and I’d be sure to give him a good word when it was all over, since he was working under me and could benefit from a reputation boost.
I grabbed my phone from where I’d placed it facedown on the table and checked it. It was a little after eleven thirty that morning. Remi should’ve been getting ready for lunch. I sent him a text before I could talk myself out of it.
Me:Things got a bit heated yesterday.
Remi:Is that your idea of an apology?
Damn. He was already so defensive.
Me:I don’t like where we are right now.
Remi:Me either, Jay, but I can’t do this anymore. You know how I feel, and you don’t feel the same. We want different things. It’s not fair to either of us to keep this going.
Me:What are you saying?
Remi:I’m saying it’s been great with you but this is as far as it needs to go. I want a relationship. Commitment. Someone who won’t run as soon as things get serious. After years of being a pushover when it comes to guys, I’m finally standing up for myself. I know what I deserve and I won’t settle for less.
The corners of my eyes stung as an unexpected surge of emotion welled up in me. He was right. I didn’t respond to his message.
Garrett returned with a cup of coffee in each hand. He placed one in front of me and retook his seat across from me. I thanked him and we continued our work.
The tone of finality in Remi’s text weighed heavily on my heart. I had let him slip through my fingers.
***
“Will you grab the ice chest from the kitchen?” Ivan asked Friday afternoon. A tent bag was slung over his shoulder, and he carried bags in each hand. I’d bought him the tent and some camping supplies for his birthday. He’d seemed happy about it, so I suppose I’d done all right.
