Page 72 of His Temptation
“Say something,” I said, watching Cason as he walked over to the back door and peered outside. He’d been at my house for about five minutes and hadn’t said a word. I had opened the garage for him, he’d parked and come inside, and then we’d stood in silence.
“I don’t know what to say.” He turned to me, a faraway look in his eyes. “It wasn’t supposed to be like this, Emery. We were supposed to fuck and have fun. Leave emotions out of it. That was the rule.”
“It was.”
“Then I had to go and get jealous seeing you with another guy,” he said, stepping toward me. “I said I didn’t want anything serious. That I don’t want a relationship. It was all bullshit.”
Though he was upset, I found myself comforted by his words. I wasn’t alone in my feelings. For whatever reason, Cason and I both felt the same magnetic connection. We shouldn’t… but we did.
“Sometimes life doesn’t follow our rules,” I said, closing the distance between us with one stride. I slid my hand along the side of his neck and cupped his warm cheek. His brown eyes rooted me in place. Invisible vines ensnared my heart. I knew I should try to break free, but a bigger part of me wanted to be right there, holding him. “Our hearts sure as hell don’t listen.”
“I was an idiot for thinking I wouldn’t fall for you,” Cason whispered, pressing his cheek to my palm and briefly closing his eyes. “Even before I knew for sure I was gay, I was drawn to you.”
“Remember the snowstorm that stranded you and Ryan here?” I asked, keeping one hand on his cheek and moving the other to his waist.
He nodded.
“That’s how long I’ve wanted you,” I admitted. “You asked me that night in the hotel why I agreed to meet up with a random eighteen-year-old, and truth is, I was trying to get you out of my head. I thought by fucking him I’d be able to forget about you.” I held him tighter and growled, “Then you showed up at my door. Not a substitution but the real thing.”
“Here we are now,” Cason said, a smile slowly lifting his lips. Lips I wanted to taste. “I don’t know what I want between us, but Idoknow I hated seeing you with that guy.”
“His name is Jay,” I said, grabbing his hand. I led him into the living room and sat on the couch. I wanted to take him to my bedroom, but no talking would happen once we were there. And there were still things we needed to set straight. “Yes, I used to fuck him. He’s actually the first guy I was ever with.”
Understanding sparked in Cason’s eyes. “He’s the friend you told me about. The one who helped you out of that dark place.”
“Yes. Jay was there for me during one of the hardest times in my life.” I fought the sadness in my chest as I remembered the argument with Jay earlier. We’d been through so much together, and it hurt to be at odds with him now when I could really use a friend to talk to.
“Why were you with him tonight?” Cason whispered, staring at his hands as they rested on his lap.
“It wasn’t sexual,” I said. “We go out for drinks sometimes.”
“Have you slept with him recently?” Still, Cason stared down. Refusing to meet my gaze.
I touched his chin and forced him to look at me. “Have I slept with him since first hooking up with you? No. I’ve been with no one but you since then.”
He tried to fight a smile, but it surfaced anyway. “We’re horrible at this, Emery. We’re like a dumb couple in a romantic comedy.”
“A comedy?” I asked, frowning. “There’s nothing funny about Larry Lube being captured. Poor guy still has nightmares about it.”
Cason laughed, and my heart felt lighter at the sound. “So what now? Where do we go from here? We both kinda broke the rules already.”
“Fuck the rules,” I said, angling my body over his and pressing a kiss to his throat. His answering sigh made my blood heat. “I want you, Cason. More than just a fuck buddy for the summer.”
His arms came around me, and he rested his cheek on my shoulder. “What about Ryan? He’ll freak out.”
“I know,” I said, my heart dropping into my gut. “That might be the one rule we keep… secrecy. At least for a while. Is that okay?”
Cason nodded. “I’m still not out, so that’s more than okay for me.”
I kissed his temple. “Take your time. Only do it when you’re ready.”
When Cason came out, he needed to be in the right headspace for it.
“We’re exclusive, right?” he asked.
“Yes. I hate the thought of anyone but me touching you.”
“Same,” he said, running his hands up my back. “Especially that blond bastard.”
