Page 73 of His Temptation
“Don’t worry about Jay. He’s just a friend.”
However, I didn’t know if Jay stillwasmy friend. His reaction about Cason hadn’t been totally unexpected, but it had been somewhat of a shock. He’d made me feel dirty for desiring Cason, even though he was of legal age. Out of all the people in my life, I had thought Jay would understand.
“Is it okay if we don’t fuck tonight?” Cason asked, wrapping his arms around my neck and nuzzling my collarbone. “I mean, I wouldn’t say no to sex if you wanted it, but I don’t know… I kinda like holding you like this.”
“Fine with me.” I shifted my weight to where I was lying behind him on the couch. “We never finished watching that Ted Bundy documentary.”
“Oh, how sexy,” Cason said, grinning. “Cuddling and serial killers. All we’re missing is pizza.”
I grabbed my phone and brought up the Domino’s delivery app. “What kind of pizza do you want?”
“Wow. We’re getting to all the personal details. Guess this really is more than sex now.” His tone might’ve been playful, but his eyes were filled with warmth. Happiness. “Favorite pizza is cheese.”
“Just cheese? Nothing else?”
“Hey, I don’t need pizza judgment from a guy who can’t even cook a steak without burning it.”
“Ouch,” I said, putting a hand to my chest. “Stick that blade a little deeper next time.”
“I’ll stick something a little deeper next time,” he muttered under his breath.
Smiling at his silliness, I ordered a large cheese pizza with chicken alfredo pasta as a side and breadsticks.
“Thanks,” Cason said, pulling my arm across his stomach once I’d settled back in place behind him. Good thing I had a big couch. “Not just for the pizza. But everything. The weeks with you have been awesome. I wasn’t ready to end it, and I got scared when I saw you with Jay earlier because I thought that maybe you were tired of me and wanted someone more mature.”
“You’re mature for your age.”
“Even though you said I was acting like a child?”
“I wasn’t acting any better,” I said, tugging him closer. “Emotions get in the way sometimes when we should be levelheaded and talk things out. They make us say things we don’t mean.”
“Yeah, like when I lied about being at a party and hooking up with someone else. I wanted to make you jealous because I was upset.”
“I know.” I kissed the back of his shoulder.
“I’m sorry for that.”
“I know,” I repeated. “It’s okay.”
The pizza arrived about thirty minutes later, and we watched the documentary as we ate. I enjoyed having sex with Cason, but I was glad he didn’t want to that night. Because I got to know so much more about him. We discussed the Bundy case and commented on the outlandish events surrounding it, like Bundy breaking out of jail various times and all of the twisted shit he did.
After the show, we continued talking. We moved to my bedroom, brushed our teeth, and got ready for bed. I asked him about his mom, which he didn’t have much to say other than she had a boyfriend he hated and both of them were druggies.
Then, I asked about his dad.
“Not much to say really,” Cason said as we lay in bed, light off and the fan spinning above us. “He was an alcoholic who liked to beat up on me and my mom. It’s why I don’t like to drink. I never want to be like him.” His eyes watered. “He walked out on us when I was nine, and I haven’t heard from him since.”
I reached for his hand, and he took it. My heart broke for him.
“It just sucks,” Cason continued. “I still think about him sometimes and wish he could see the man I’ve become. So he’d know he didn’t break me. That I made something of myself.”
I couldn’t even imagine the pain Cason went through—the grief he wasstillgoing through. Being abandoned by a parent left a deep scar. I should know. My parents had cut me out of their lives once learning I was gay.
“Come here,” I said, slipping an arm around him.
He rolled toward me and lay on my chest, his face pressed to my neck. In that moment, I realized how much I truly cared about him. Cason was precious to me, and I hated that he was hurting.
I slid my fingers through his brown hair and started to sing. He stilled before sinking against me, nestling closer.
