Page 99 of Found at Sea
Enjoy the time I have left.
“Not sure,” I answered, lacking the energy to lie and build false hope. “How are the men holding up?”
In the attack, we’d lost many good men. Sexton and Byron had been among the fallen as were a handful of swabs and some of the other gunners.
“Redmond’s takin’ Sexton’s loss hard,” Kris answered. “The rest of ‘em are resting from their wounds and tryin’ to make sense of it all.”
A noise to the right caught our attention. It was a pair of twin jesters in full costume, juggling and cracking jokes. The patrons laughed as one of them bonked the other on the head. I wasn’t in the mood for such merriness, and I averted my stare.
I bid Kris good day before taking my leave.
The loss of my men weighed heavily on me. As their captain, I felt as if I failed them. The day I brought Alek aboard was a day I’d made a choice. And even though it’d taken nearly six years, that choice finally had consequences. TheCrimson Nighthad been attacked because he’d been on board.
I didn’t know what was worse: the fact my decision had caused lives to be taken…or the fact that I’d do it all over again if given the choice. I didn’t regret saving Alek’s life all those years ago.
And I’m the one who eventually ended it.
After ordering and paying for the food, I went back up to the room.
Fletcher was quiet all through his meal, and I sat beside him, refraining from asking him too many questions about his health. I’d never been so protective over anyone before, and even after months of caring for him, I was still taken aback by it. He meant more to me than anyone or anything else.
After he ate his eggs and roll of bread dipped in honey, he downed his glass of water before wiping his mouth and looking at me. “Are you going to sit there all day and watch me like a mother hen?”
I didn’t have the energy to answer his retort with one of my own. Instead, I averted my eyes from him and focused back on the fire. The crackling of it was comforting. The outside world was gray and cold and peering out the small window of the room only added to the numbness inside my chest.
“Kellan?” Fletcher waited for me to look at him before continuing, “I’m not angry with you. Al…well, he wanted you to do it, right?” I nodded, and his chin trembled as he exhaled. “I miss him.”
“Aye, I do as well.”
“How did we get to Silver Falls?” he asked, wiping at his eyes. “I don’t remember it on the map.”
He wanted a distraction from his heartache, and I wouldn’t deny him that.
“I didn’t think we’d make it to land,” I said, settling more into the chair and pulling him onto my lap. He came willingly and nestled his face into his nook between my neck and shoulder. “We stayed afloat for hours, letting the wind carry us for a while before taking to the oars. Water was leaking through the hull, and we patched it as best we could, but I knew it wouldn’t last and we’d eventually sink. When the stars awoke that night, I studied them, as I so often used to do. They guided me here.”
I was careful not to put pressure to his abdomen as I cradled him. Ideally, he should still be in bed, but he was sick of lying down and frankly, so was I.
“How long will the repairs take?”
“A week. Possibly longer,” I answered, hearing the sadness in my own voice.
Fletcher raised his head and stared into my eyes, so intently that I felt as if he was peering into my very soul. “And then we will set sail for the heart? How much time do we have left?”
“Not enough,” I said, gliding my knuckles across his cheekbone. His skin was so soft and warm. I wanted to spend each day I had left with him; tasting him and truly living for the first time in my pitiful existence. “We will stay in Silver Falls, and when the time comes, you will go with Kris and the others.”
“No,” he snapped, sliding off my lap and standing. The movement made him wince, but he was too angry to let it slow him for long. “You arenotgiving up, Kellan. I won’t let you. Wewillfind the lost heart of Triton, and wewilllift your curse. You deserve redemption.”
“This is my choice, Fletcher,” I said, standing and facing him. “I do not wish to spend my final days searching for an answer to my salvation when there is no answer to find.” The stern façade I kept in place dissipated as I stared into his mossy green eyes. “I wish to spend the time I have left with you. For as long as I can. Do not deny me this.”
His eyes glistened with unshed tears.
“I can’t lose you,” he whispered. “Losing Alek was like losing a piece of my soul. But losing you? My heart would wither away into nothing.”
“Time will heal your wounds,” I said, gently pulling him closer. “And you will find another purpose in your life. A new adventure.”
“I don’t want another life,” he said as a tear slid down his cheek. “In Helmfirth, I always dreamed of adventure, and when you came along and made me part of your crew, I thought I’d finally found it. Found the adventure I’d sought-after. But it wasyouI’ve been dreaming of all these years. There is no greater adventure than one of the heart.”
“All voyages end, sweet bird,” I said, cupping the side of his face and wiping away one of his tears with my thumb. “Some last longer, and others end too soon. But they alldoend. Eventually. There’s no stopping it.”
