Page 20 of Happy Krampus Xmas & the Meet Not Cute
“Actually, this job at the café might be better for me.”
I stare at him, trying to see if there’s more to this. What am I bloody thinking? Of course, there is. Spencer, though, is not used to having people in his corner. He stubbornly does everything by himself. It reminds me of…me, before I found Gabe and Bez and the rest of the sausage fest. Ollie and Sully have always been my family, but I tended to help them not the other way around.
Spencer suddenly pushes his chair back and stands. “Want something else?” he asks, waving his thumb toward the menu board.
I shake my head. “What’s wrong with your leg?” He’s limping slightly.
“Just fell asleep.”
“Ookaay.” I let him go even though I know that’s a lie. There’s no way the pig-headed fool will tell me anything, though.
I look at the jocks again. Thor is following Spencer’s tushy before the very fleshy girl near him grabs his arm, looking for attention.Interesting.
I send a flying kiss to the muscles-plus-muscles bloke. My lips are a shag magnet—Bez and Gabe are evidence enough. His eyes fall on them for a second, but then his murderous gaze goes backto my face. He’s smaller than the rest, the Capitan? Boss? First liner? Don’t know much about football apart from the fact that those uniforms don’t leave much to the imagination.Delish!
“If you start trouble—” Spencer comes back to the table with an apple and another bottle of soda.
“You'll burst my bubble?” I chuckle at my rhyme.
“KLM,” Spencer mutters and then adds when I frown with confusion at him, “Kill. Me. Now.”
“So overly dramatic.” I huff, repeating his own previous words. “AndFYIthey are just a bunch of prejudiced dicks that can all go blow themselves.Up…blow themselves up. The dick self-sucking is quite impossible to do. Although, I’ve heard a bloke got two ribs removed and now he can bend down and…”
“I got the picture.” He makes an unhappy expression. “Your tastes in conversation are a huge red flag, buddy.”
“No red flags here. But a bouquet of entertaining facts.”
Spencer gives his apple a bite and chews on it before replying. “Abouquetof entertaining facts? Fuck, you’re a lawyer alright.”
“Hashtag hottest legal practitioner.” I sniff haughtily, Gabe’s arrogance is rubbing off on me.
I check my phone screen. There’s a couple of texts from Rami about a maggot and one from Bez ordering me to let him know when I’m done. I’ll answer on my way to class; Spencer and I have only ten minutes to cross campus and get to Salomon Hall.
“Remember safe-mate protocol,” I tell him, which is a slight revisitation of the safe-bestie protocol I created with Ollie. I send a glance to the jocks’ table. Thor is the only one staring at usleaving. And that look means trouble. Hopefully the kind that leaves Spencer with slick underwear. “If you need me, just ring me once.”
He nods as we get outside. The white snow peppering our surroundings is a stark background for all the colorful wool hats and fleece scarves worn by the other students strolling on campus.
“I hate the cold. It forces me to cover my fabulous body!” I complain, snuggling deeper in my green down jacket. Spencer hums noncommittally.
I get lost in my thoughts as we start heading south. I’m back to my list. I need to buy a few things for the altar and the spirit parts. The preparation is going to be fun—I pat my jacket, feeling the bump underneath, the tiny urn hanging around my neck.
And what did Gran use to say about fun? It needs to be shared.
five
Is foodporn a kink?
I walk slowly down the aisle—of the costume shop—brushing the dresses hanging right and left with my fingertips as Ollie huffs once again.
Sari follows us closely as he utters, “Although Krampus appears in many variations, most share some common physical characteristics. He’s hairy, usually brown or black, and has one cloven hoof and the horns of a goat. He also has fangs and a long, pointed tongue that drops out in most portrayals.”
He did complete research on the demon. His dedication doesn’t surprise me, since he’s a medical researcher. I’m glad he’s coming out with us today. Since Meg was poisoned and fell into a coma, he’s shut himself from the outside world, working day and night. He took it hard. It’s good to see him out and about.
I hum. “So, I’m looking for curly horns, fangs, and a furry coat—Chewbacca style.”
“Who?” Sari asks, fumbling with the long braid falling over his shoulder.
“A movie character. He looks like a six-foot, six-inch-tall teddy bear.” I grab two different kinds of plastic fangs, and after a few seconds, I toss the smaller ones into the cart. The horns are not as equally easy to pick. And after too many minutes, I decide to take one of each.
