Page 60 of The Duke's Stubborn Wallflower
“I know. I know this in my heart, and yet each time I try, my courage falters.” Nigel’s voice broke as he began to shake violently.Now she will see the son for the coward he is.“I cannot bear the thought of being parted from her.”
“And you assume that telling her this secret would part her from you? Do you really think so little of her?” His mother frowned at him, her arms folded across her chest.
“What woman would want to marry a dying man?” Nigel slumped against the wall.
“I did.” The Dowager Duchess’s voice was so soft for a moment, Nigel was not sure she had spoken. “I chose to marry a dying man.”
Nigel looked at his mother, his eyes wide. He only just stopped from gaping openly at this revelation. “You knew? You knew that father was cursed?”
His mother nodded.
“And you still married him? But… but why did you never tell me?” He tried to keep the hurt and confusion from his voice.She knew. She knew father was cursed.
“I am not sure. It never seemed like the right moment. And I did not see what use it would be to you.” The Dowager Duchess smiled sadly.
Nigel felt as though the floor had fallen away and was grateful for the steadiness of the wall against his back. “You knew? But… you were so devastated when he died.”
“Of course, I was, dear boy. He was the love of my life.” The Dowager Duchess gave Nigel a look that suggested he had said one of the stupidest things she had ever heard.
He felt colour rise in his cheeks, but before he could say anything, his mother continued, “… and though I knew of the curse, we both hoped, well, we prayed for a miracle. And when he died, a little part of me did, too.”
“Then I should not marry Olivia,” Nigel said feeling as though his heart fall from his chest entirely.I should not do this.
“That is not what I said. I do not, for one moment, regret marrying your father. I would not trade the precious time we had together for the world. For though it was short, it was the happiest of my life.” The Dowager Duchess took Nigel’s face in her hands once more, tears in her eyes as she said, “And our union brought me you, my darling boy.”
Nigel shook his head, moving away from his mother. “I do not know what to do. I do not know how to be as brave as he was.”
“You already are. You must tell her. The longer you wait, the more it will hurt when you do.” The Dowager Duchess gestured around the room. “You must be fair to her. The decision to marry you, that is hers to make, but she must know the truth.”
“I know. I know this, and yet… every time I try to find the words, an image of her face, wracked with pain forms in my mind, and I… I just can’t.” Nigel thumped his hand against the wall, instantly regretting it as pain laced up his arm. “God, curse me for a fool, but I cannot bear her to be in any pain, much less pain that I have caused.”
“Secrets very rarely remain that way. This knowledge should come from you, lest she feel betrayed completely.” His mother’s voice was firm, the kind of voice one used when trying to get someone else to see reason.
“You are right. But… how do you tell someone that you are cursed? That your whole family is cursed? That any children we have…. God, that they may also share my fate.” Nigel buried his face in his hands.How could I have been so selfish?
“We do not know that it would affect every child you had. We do not know the extent of the curse as we have not had more than one child in a few generations.” His mother bit her lip. “We just… we do not know.”
“What if I am not strong enough mother? What if…” Nigel took a steadying breath as he said, “What if I cannot tell her that I am a dying man?”
Before he could say anything else, and before his mother could reply, the door to his study flew open. It slammed against the wall as he whirled around.
Standing in the doorway, eyes red and puffy, cheeks stained with tears, was Olivia.
Chapter Twenty-One
The World Comes Crashing Down
Olivia stared at Nigel, his words echoing in her head.I cannot tell her I am a dying man.She felt hot tears streak down her cheeks and wiped them away angrily.
Her heart felt as though it would break in two. She stared at Nigel, saw the despair on his face, and it shattered her heart into a million pieces.
“So, it is true,” Olivia said, feeling as though her words were a death sentence.
“What is true?” Nigel asked, but she could tell his heart was not in it.
Olivia shook her head. “Do not play coy. Tell me the truth.”
“How much did you hear?” Nigel sounded defeated.
