Page 61 of The Duke's Stubborn Wallflower
“Enough.” Olivia’s voice was steady.
“Then you already know everything.”
“I want to hear it from your lips. I want to hear you say it.”
“Olivia.” Her name on Nigel’s lips was like a plea, but Olivia would not answer it.
“Please, Nigel. Tell me. Is it true? Is it true that you are… dying?” The last word was barely more than a whisper, just saying it made Olivia feel sick.
Nigel hesitated. “The men in my family… are not blessed with long life. Quite the opposite in fact… We seem destined to remain only a short while on this Earth. I feel it is like a curse, or perhaps some hereditary illness, but in truth, no one can figure out what it is.”
“What does that mean?” Olivia asked, feeling desperation well up within her. “How short is short?”
“None of us has lived past twenty-seven.” Nigel spoke so softly that Olivia strained to hear him. “I had hoped… well prayed… that it would not affect me, but…”
“You… you are dying. And you were not going to tell me.” Olivia’s pain wracked through her, and blood pounded through her veins.
“Olivia, please, I can explain.” Nigel reached towards her, but she pulled out of his grip.
“No. No. I do not want to hear it.” Olivia stepped away from him. “You do not trust me. Or perhaps you deliberately withheld this from me.”
“Olivia, no that is not true. I do trust you. I love you!” Nigel’s green eyes met her own, a pleading desperation in them.
“Do not say that. No! How dare you?!” Olivia shook her head, her fists clenched in rage. “Until just now, I had some hope that what I discovered was not true. That you had not lied to me.”
“I never lied to you,” Nigel said.
“A lie of omission is still a lie,” Olivia retorted. “God! How could you not tell me this?”
“I - I - I - I… I don’t know. I’m sorry.” Nigel sounded utterly wretched. “I wanted to, truly I did. Yet…”
“Yet you didn’t.” Olivia felt fresh tears form and wiped her eyes, turning from Nigel as she did so. “You know, the worst part of all of this is that if you had just told me, I still would have married you.”
“You would have married me?” Nigel’s voice was a mix of fear and confusion. “What do you mean?”
“That I would rather have had a short life with you than a lifetime without you. Even if I had only had one day with you as you wife, I would have taken it.” Olivia let the sadness and grief seep into her voice. “But I cannot marry you. Not when you kept this from me.”
“Olivia —” Nigel’s voice broke, but she refused to face him.
For the first time, she noticed Nigel’s mother, the Dowager Duchess in the corner. “I am sorry, you shall have to forgive my impertinence, Dowager Duchess Glassley.”
“There is nothing to forgive, Lady Olivia.” The Dowager Duchess looked as though she would say more but then closed her mouth, an unreadable look on her face.
“I should have liked to have you for a mother-in-law.” Olivia felt numb as she said it.
“And I would have welcomed a daughter such as yourself.” The Dowager Duchess gave her a sad smile.
“Goodbye. Dowager Duchess. Nigel.” Olivia turned from the both and left the room.
She did not remember the journey back to Pembleton. Nor could she really recall stumbling into her room. She knew she had toldJane and her mother but then nothing. She collapsed into bed, feeling as though she were watching a stranger going through the motions rather than doing them herself.
She closed her eyes.Perhaps when I wake, this will all have been some heinous nightmare. And instead of a life without Nigel, I will be readying myself for marriage.Olivia let the tears cascade down her face as sleep took her.
When she woke the next morning, an emptiness stole over her. The events of the day before flooded her mind, but she found that she could not even muster the energy to weep. Instead, there was nothing within her. Just an odd numbness.
“Olivia?” Jane’s voice called through the door. “It is nearly noon. Will you not join us for lunch?”
“I am not hungry.” Olivia replied; the thought of food was too much for her.
