Page 4 of The Circle of Exile
“Ghar nahi jaa sakti.[12]”
“Toh phir?[13]”
Her chalk nib snapped. Particles splattered across the black of the board. She blew on them. Then looked at the little space left. It was so small. Iram continued to write, making her writing smaller, tiny ants.
But don't you know what they say about the devil you know and the devil you don’t?
You were the heaven I knew
And the heaven I lost
“Mehrunisa… is Mehrunisa here?”
“Soni Mehru?”
Her head nodding, half-dizzy, half-hot.
“Mehru…”
“Kus-a?[14]”
Her sister. Her elder sister. Her elder sister’s face at the door of this vast palace.
“Kus un[15]?"
“I… don’t know what you mean… mujhe…”
“It’s alright, I understand you. How can I help you?”
“Can I see your mother, please?”
“My mother?”
“Hmm… Soni… umm…”
“She passed away years ago. But why do you want to meet her?”
Her hands losing feeling. Collapsing. Warm arms around her.
“Who are you? What has happened to you? Somebody get water! Ase ché gurt![16]”
Iram felt her throat go dry at the feel of that first touch of a glass’s rim to her lips. She coughed, feeling something stick there at the thought of the hands of that princess of Nagar, her sister, pouring water down her throat. She had been a beggar to her then.
She pushed her eyes wider, feeling the burn of sleeplessness but no sleep. Iram launched her chalk on the board again.
But can it be soshe wrote, then, without thought, felt words leave her hand.
that my haven still waits for me?
The space on the board ended. But his thought remained. The man who always stood between her and danger. The man for whom she always waited. Both untrue this time. But still he remained. He couldn’t save her, she couldn’t wait for him.And yet. And yet. And yet.Iram experienced a feeling other than sorrow or joy inside her. It wasn’t love either. It was…him.
A thrill coursed through her.
For the first time in days, the thought of him did not make her want to tear out, black out or go to sleep.Atharva.Three syllables, her whole world. She wanted to write more.
Iram treaded further on his thought, with caution. He would be alone. He would have had to see their dead faces…
She shuddered and tore out of that thought, rose above it. Not yet then.
