Page 32 of Alex
“Oh,hell, you aren’t cooking are you?” She pokes her head around the corner andwaves a bag of Chinese food.
“You’rea lifesaver.”
“Iknow lunch with you is either going to be pizza delivery or something burnt.”
“Veryfunny, pup.” I wrap her in a hug.
Herhair falls in her eye when she steps back and she tucks it behind her ear. “Imissed you. You look like shit. Have you been sick?”
“Stomachbug. It’s better now.”
Herscrutinizing look says I’m walking a thin line. “Something’s bothering you.”
Sighing,I sit at the table, leaving the bag of food untouched on the counter. My stomachis churning with nervous tension. Ev is my oldest and closest friend and Idon’t know how she’ll react to what I have to say.
Herhands clasp mine as she takes a seat across from me. “What is it?”
“Haveyou ever been attracted to a woman?”
“Ifthis is your way of trying to get me into a three way with you and some skank…”
“No,”I laugh. “Just, tell me the truth. Have you ever messed with a girl?”
“No,I’ve never been attracted to girls. What’s this about, Ian? You look likesomeone has you by the nuts, so just spit it out.”
Ina way someone does. Fucking Alex. “I think I have feelings for a man.”
Thewords hang in the air like smoke while Everly sits back, trying not to look asshocked as I know she is. I’m Ian the man whore. It’s always been about beautifulwomen, the more the better. No way she saw this coming. I sure as hell didn’t.
Herwords are slow and careful. “Okay, have you told him?”
“Ithink kissing him probably gave it away.”
Hermouth falls open and she sits back. “Wow, okay, I’m sorry. I’m just surprised.”
“Notas much as I am.”
Herhand squeezes mine. “I’ll bet. So, are you concerned that you’re gay, or bi?”
“I’mnot gay. And bisexual? I don’t know. I don’t look at men or see them…that way.Just him.”
Softbrown eyes delve into mine. “Who are we talking about?”
She’sreally going to shit now. “Alex,” I reply in a near whisper.
Asmile flows across her face. “You and Alex?”
“Wehaven’t…I don’t…fuck.” My forehead falls to my hand.
“Hey.”Ev touches my cheek and waits for me to look at her. “It’s okay. Did you reallythink I wouldn’t approve or that I’d judge you?”
“No,I just don’t know what to do. Maybe it’s just because I’ve spent so much timewith him. Maybe I’m just confused because we’ve become close.”
Evshakes her head. “I don’t think it works that way. Either there’s somethingthere or there isn’t. You can’t control or force it. Remember when we tried? Itwas laughable. You feel differently toward a close friend than you do someoneyou’re romantically interested in. You kissed him. Was there something there?”
“Yes,”I confess with a sigh. “But if it’s just attraction, I can ignore it and maybeit’ll pass.”
“Maybe,if it were just attraction,” Ev says, chewing her lip like she does when she’sthinking. “Do you think about him when he’s gone? Look forward to him cominghome at night? Or do you feel like it’s a sexual thing?”
