Page 49 of Lusting for the Duke's Kiss
He smiled, pleased with himself, basking in her praise.
“Shall we return to the house?” she asked. “I think that Cook has made your favourite for luncheon.”
His eyes lit up. He started clapping. “Yes!”
She scooped him up, settling him on one hip for the short walk back to the manor, the three Scottish terrier dogs trotting at her feet. Ben snuggled against her, putting his thumb into his mouth. Her heart surged with love for the boy, and she leaned down, kissing the top of his head. She had never imagined that she could feel such love as she felt for this child.
It was different from the way that she felt about his father, though no less strong. It was a deeply maternal, protective love. If he fell and hurt himself, howling, her heart would lurch. If there were only a second where he was out of her sight while they played hide and seek, her mouth would go dry in sheer panic.
In the five months that had passed since she and Louis had married, and she had become the mistress of Warwick Manor, her feelings for his illegitimate son had grown, day by day. At first, she had been nervous, wondering what kind of stepmother she would be to this child. She had no experience with children at all. Would she fail, make some terrible mistake that could not be rectified?
But Louis had laughed at her fears, taking her hand. “You will be wonderful,” he had said, confidently. “All you need to do is love him, and the rest will take care of itself.”
Hetty thought about Louis’s words to her as they walked into the house, now. He had been right, as he had been right about everything. It was one of the reasons she loved him so much – that quiet confidence, that firm will, that everything would sort itself out in its own time. It had been that confidence that had broken down her defences and made her love him. She was sure of it.
Her heart leapt as she saw him waiting for them at the side door to the manor. It never changed, the way that her heart leapt when she saw her husband again, even if it had only been an hour since they had last been in one another’s company.
“He looks tuckered out,” Louis said, smiling, as they approached him. “It looks like he has been enjoying himself.”
Hetty nodded. “He has been running for over half an hour,” she said. “He has been chasing the ball.” She looked down at the dogs, milling around her feet. “It was a wonder he could get to it at all with these three in hot pursuit.”
Louis leaned over to take the child. “He must be getting heavy,” he said. “Let me take him.”
But as Hetty went to pass Ben to her husband, the child suddenly clung to her, vigorously shaking his head. “No,” he wailed. “Want Mama.”
Hetty stilled. So did Louis. They both looked at each other, tears welling in their eyes. Hetty stared down at the golden head of the child, her heart lurching again. It was all she could do to keep composed.
Mama. He called me Mama.
It was the very first time that the word had passed his lips.
When they had returned to Warwick Manor after their short honeymoon in Scotland, Louis had gently asked her what she wanted Ben to call her. He preferred if she was referred to as Ben’s mother, right from the start, but he would not force it upon her if she did not feel comfortable with the title.
She had agreed that she would like the boy to think of her as his mother and refer to her as such. But no matter how many times they asked him to call her Mama, not Hetty, he stubbornly refused. She had tried not to show how hurt she was. She knew that it would take time for him to accept her, even though he had no memory of his real mother and had never called anyone by the title.
Until now.
There was a silence, thickened by emotion. Ben was the only one who seemed unaware of the importance of the moment. He buried his face into her shoulder, rubbing his eyes. She could see that hewas almost ready for his afternoon nap.
Louis took a deep breath. “Of course you can stay with Mama,” he said, his voice shaking only slightly. “But I think that your luncheon is ready, in the nursery, now. We should go there.”
They started walking slowly, not looking at each other. But Hetty knew that her husband realised how profound the moment was, as well.
He put an arm around her shoulder. She gazed up at him. And so, they kept walking with the child in her arms towards the nursery. She knew, at that moment, that they had finally become the family that they both had longed for.
***
Later that evening after dinner was over and Ben was fast asleep, tucked up in his small bed, they wandered together across the lawn of the gardens. It had become a habit of theirs to walk of an evening before they retired indoors to the flaming fire of the drawing room. Winter was upon them, now, and it became very cold at this time of night.
Louis carried a small lantern in his right hand, and intriguingly, a bag, in his other. He had refused to tell her what was inside it, only smiling and saying that all would be revealed. She glanced at the bag,now, curious. But she knew better than to ask him. He would only smile slyly, refusing to answer until he was ready.
“Brrrr.” He stomped his feet. “I do not think we will be able to do this of a night for much longer. The snow will be too thick, and I do not have a toboggan to lead you back to our home, my love.”
She laughed, watching the frigid breath emerging like smoke from her mouth. “I think you are right,” she said. “But think, Louis. All that we can do in the dead of winter.” She paused, warming to the idea. “We can make snowmen, with Ben. We can have snowball fights …”
“Do not forget snow angels,” he interrupted, smiling. “I always enjoyed making them, when the snow was heavy enough, when I was a lad. My sister Catherine and I used to compete to see who could spread their arms the widest and make the largest wings.”
Hetty smiled ruefully. “The pleasures of having a sibling,” she said slowly. “As an only child, I had to make my own amusement. I should have loved to have a companion to trawl the fields when it snowed.”
