Page 103 of The Perfect Son
“My friend Mel saw you.”
I nod.
“It wasn’t the school you went to. It was an office at the end of your lane. It used to be the school, once, a long time ago. But they built a new one.”
“I knew that.” I frown. Memories of walking Jamie through big blue gates into a modern building with a playground and basketball hoops flicker in my mind.
“Maybe deep down you knew,” Shelley says. “If you went to the new school then you’d see other parents and Jamie’s old classmates. This way you saw no one.”
I swallow hard against a lump cutting into my windpipe. My mouth is dry and my head throbs. I want to close my eyes and be taken away somewhere. Did I know? Deep down in the darkness where I can’t reach, did I know Jamie was gone? I think of swimming in the sea and losing sight of him. There was something dark flickering in my thoughts in that moment. I thought I’d lost him. And I had.
“I’m so sorry,” Shelley says, squeezing my hand.
“Don’t be. You’ve been a great friend to—” I stop myself in time. Not us, but “me. I thought you were trying to trick me. I thought you were making me think I was imagining things that weren’t real. I heard you on the phone after I thought someone had been in the house. You were talking about me.”
Shelley doesn’t speak and I watch her thinking, remembering. “I was arguing with Tim. I’d just found out he’d had an affair with the woman from the golf club. I didn’t want to tell you because you had enough going on.
“I’m so sorry I didn’t believe you about that man from the airline,” Shelley says. “The police told me about him hanging around. They’ve spoken to him too and he admitted to being in your garden that night. I should’ve believed you, but I thought...”
“You thought I was crazy.”
“No,” Shelley says.
“It’s OK. I didn’t believe me either. I thought you were trying to take Jamie away from me.”
“The police told me you thought that, but oh, Tess, I’d never take a child away from their mother. It hurts too much to think about.”
Another silence falls between us.
“Here,” Shelley says. “I brought you some flowers.” She lifts a bouquet of yellow roses from the floor. There are no supermarket tags, just two elastic bands keeping the stems in place.
I make a noise, my eyes shooting to Shelley. “Did you bring me flowers?”
“When?”
“I found tulips by the side door on my birthday... I thought... I thought—”
“Oh, Tess.” Shelley’s hands fly to her mouth. “I’m so sorry. I completely forgot about the flowers. I brought them with me, but you weren’t in. I didn’t want the flowers to wilt in the car from my heaters while I ran some errands. I put them by the side door, thinking I’ll get them when I come back. I didn’t know you used the side door as the main door. I’m so sorry.”
I nod and we fall into silence.
“I’m still trying to figure it all out. So the car that chased me. That wasn’t real either? Or the phone call from the man who knew Mark? Sadler said he thinks that’s in my head.”
“The police took your notebook, Tess. You wrote down the times when you heard that voice, and when you spoke to him. The police checked with the phone company. There were no calls.”
“Oh.” I close my eyes, blinking away the tears forming in them.“I guess I owe Ian an apology. I thought he was trying to control me to get Mark’s money. But that wasn’t real either, was it?”
“Actually,” Shelley says, leaning forward, “that was real. Ian did come into the house when you weren’t there, and he lied about Mark owing him money. He was the one driving the car that chased you on your way back from the beach. I guess he wanted to scare you so you’d take his help.”
A numbness spreads over my body. I can’t get my head around what is real and what is not. They’re telling me Jamie is dead. They’re telling me there was no man with the gravelly voice. But Ian did try to run me off the road, and he did come to the house when I was out and look through your study.
“Why would he do that? Why didn’t he just ask me for help?” I ask.
“I’m not sure, but he’s admitted it to the police.”
“Will anything happen to him?”
“I don’t know,” Shelley says. “I think he’ll be charged with something. Dangerous driving, harassment. Trespassing too. I’m so sorry. This must all be too much. I should let you rest. You’re in the right place now, Tess. Dr. Sadler will help you get better.”
