Page 25 of Note to Self
“Is that why you bought so much food? You’re planning breakfast too?” His laugh sounds a lot more relaxed, more confident. Hopefully, he’s beginning to believe that I truly want to be here with him.
“Hmm.” I can’t hold back my smile. “Maybe subconsciously, or perhaps it was wishful thinking.” I kiss his forehead.
“Did your wishful thinking go far enough ahead to bring some clothes for the morning?”
Is there a right or wrong answer to this? We’ve shared a lot about ourselves. Add the fact that we’ve both come down each other’s throats. I think we’re good to spend the night together. Will we fuck? No, probably not. I’m not expecting that from him, not tonight. Not until he’s ready and trusts that I’mnot going to ghost him after we’ve done that. “I’m not sure what the right answer to that is.” I chuckle.
Trent shakes his head. “Well, did it?”
I scratch the back of my head. “Yeah, I’ve left them in the car.”
“You’d better go and get them, then. I’m ready to get back into bed with you.” He wanders away towards the kitchen. Judging by the clinking and clattering, he must be loading the dishwasher. I like the domestic sounds more than I thought.
The trip to my Landrover takes less than a minute. When I return, Trent isn’t in the kitchen, but I hear him speaking, and he doesn’t sound at all happy. Not wanting to appear like I’m snooping, I follow his voice to the bedroom.
“I truly can’t believe you’d be such a twat.… Oh, just fuck off, Marc. You’re a horrible man and were an even crappier boyfriend. Oh, and by the way, I have a new boyfriend, and he’s got a massive dick and knows what to do with it, unlike you.” When my bag hits the bed with a clunk, he turns from the window, the black of the night not giving him anything to look at. He stabs at the screen, then throws the phone onto the bed with a huff of annoyance. Instead of looking surprised or angry at my appearance, he shakes his head. “God, that man!”
“He called again? What’s his problem? Has he finally realised that you’re a great boyfriend and he’s missing you?”
Trent’s lip quirks. “Nope, he’s realised that nobody actually likes him, and he’s not used to that. So he wants me back.”
“He said that to you? In those words?” God, this guy is such a wanker. “I’m glad you told him to fuck off.”
“It wasn’t those exact words but close enough. I know he’s not liked. In fact, he’s barely tolerated. But it seems that people like me, and they asked about me. He told them I wasill and had gone away to recuperate. Now it’s time to get over myself and get back home to him so that he doesn’t look stupid.”
“Which was why you told him to fuck off.”
“No. I told him to fuck off when he said I needed him, that I’ll come running back to him. That’s when I told him I had a boyfriend. I’m sorry. You’re not really my boyfriend, but it was the only way to shut him up.”
“But what if it’s true and I am your boyfriend? I mean, I’d like to be. Officially and all that. If you’d like that too.”
Trent gapes at me. Is it really that big a deal? I thought we were pretty sound together.
“I’d like to. I’d really bloody like to be your boyfriend.”
Merrick looks at me, his eyes wide and his mouth open. “Like official boyfriends? Does that mean you’re going to be staying in Calston Cove?”
Now there’s the question that’s been running around in my head since Merlin left on Sunday. I know he’s going to be thinking it too. Honestly, the answer is yes, but the feeling of ‘for now’ is hovering in the background. I can’t live on fresh air, which means I need to find a job. Or be brave enough to do what I asked him here for. To show him my drawings—not the naked ones of Merlin but the others I’ve done—and see if he thinks any are good enough to sell. Online, I mean. No way will they be good enough to be displayed at the gallery.
“Trent?” Merrick calls my name. I must’ve taken too long to answer.
“Sorry, it does for now, but I need to work, and I’ve got my house and everything back in London to sort out, then somewhere permanent to live. I’ve still got a few weeks of holiday to go, so I’m okay for money.” I pause when excitement lights up Merrick’s eyes. “Don’t get your hopes up yet. Merlin’s wonderful, but it’s all new, and he’s got so much going on with the nursery and his other work. We’re not rushing into anything, so don’t go imagining we’ll be moving in together anytime soon. It’s nowhere near that.”
“Okay, I’ll keep my enthusiasm in check. Have you spoken to anyone back in London?”
That’s another thorn in my side. I’m still ignoring my parents, and thankfully, they seem to have got the message and have slowed down the torrent of calls. Not to a complete halt, just a trickle, maybe once or twice a week. I doubt I’ll hear from Marc again. I think he’s finally worked out that I’m not doing anything he wants. That it’s completely over.
“Not yet, but I’ll get to it. I’ve got a few things I want to get straight before I speak to my parents.” My phone buzzes with a text.
Merlin: Have you done it yet?
I sigh. I promised him I would get this done today. “Merrick, can I have your opinion on something? I need you to be honest with me.”
“Sure, but remember, I’m no doctor.” He grins.
With a roll of my eyes, I walk to my bedroom. Merlin helped me pick out ten drawings from the stack I’d put together. He insisted I put some of the nudes in among the ones of the coasts and the few of Willow. I’m sure that was just to gain points with Merrick.
I pick up the folder and hand it to Merrick. He looks curious but takes it from me. “What is it?”
