Page 26 of Note to Self
“It’s one of the reasons I came here, to try something out without any interruptions or criticism from everyone at home. Take your time. I’m going to go out to the dunes for a bit of fresh air.” I can’t sit and watch him. I’ll be trying to analyse every expression his face shows.
“Trent, what is this? Why can’t you stay?”
“I’ll be back in a bit. Take your time.”
I trudge up the sandy path that leads to the dunes and down to the beach, looking for a spot that will protect me from the sand the wind blows around. With my hands restingon my bent knees, I try to clear my mind of what Merrick is thinking. I should let Merlin know, but it can wait until I see him this evening. I may have nothing to tell him apart from Merrick telling me I should stick to teaching science to bored, uninterested teenagers. The idea of that has become further and further away from my dreams every day. I shouldn’t have shown him the drawings. It’s too soon. The turmoil in my head gets even bigger when I think of being with Merlin. God, I’ve jumped in too early with him as well. I’ll end up hurting him if all my dreams and plans fall through with one word from Merrick.
The beach is full of families having a day in the sun. A surfing school or something goes on at the shoreline. How hard is it to learn how to surf? Maybe I could check out some lessons. It could be a fun way to spend my last few weeks of holiday.
A hand touches my shoulder. “Shit!” I turn and find Merrick smiling at me.
“Sorry, mate.” He sits down next to me and stares out at the sea, seemingly focusing on a couple of huge tanker ships on the horizon. “Why the hell have you been teaching for the last fifteen years?”
“What? Wh-what’s that supposed to mean?” I stumble over the words.
He turns to me and sighs. “How long have I known you? It must be about twenty years or so, and you have never drawn or painted anything. Not that I can remember anyway. You’ve never talked about art, and Josh never told me you could draw. Did he even know?”
“Yeah, he knew I liked to sketch, but I don’t think I showed him anything. Mum disapproved, telling me it was a waste of time. So I stopped.”
“Trent, those paintings, the sketches are incredible. I don’t think I’ve seen anything as good in a long time. I want to put on a show at the gallery. The erotic ones will sell likehotcakes. Have you got any more? I want to see everything you have.”
“You’re kidding me?” He doesn’t look like he’s messing with me, but it can’t be true or this easy. The tension in my shoulders relaxes a little, and a little excitement creeps in. “I didn’t want to show you, but Merlin persuaded me.”
“Why? Trent, you’re exceptionally talented.”
I shrug. “I was always told it was pointless and to concentrate on work, so I stopped drawing. This is the first time I’ve tried again in years.”
“Your parents really did a number on you. I never understood what their problem was.”
“That’s simple. They spend most of their time trying to keep up with their friends. Having a gay son was bad, but the fact that Josh was successful made it easier. All they wanted from me was a wife and some grandchildren for them to showcase. They had plans for me to be head of my department. It was all a load of shit. When I told them I was bi, it was the final straw, and they kicked me out. I’ve never stood up for myself before. They’re furious that they don’t know where I am.”
“I’m sorry. I never knew it was that bad. I wish I’d stayed in touch with you. I’m so glad you’re here with me now.” He hugs me. “Now, please show me the rest of your art. Not the naked ones of your boyfriend, though. I can live without those.”
Heat creeps on my cheeks. They are probably flame red. “How do you know I’ve got any of those?”
“Because that man is hot as fuck, and you’re blushing so hard it’s hard to believe you haven’t.” Merrick stands up, brushing sand from the back of his shorts and off his legs, then offers his hand to haul me up.
“Why do you want to see the erotic ones?” I pull out all the other drawings. I know there’s a huge market for them,which is why I set up my website. Does he know, or is he simply curious?
“It’s become a hot market, and I haven’t seen many better than yours. I want in on that. I want to be the first to show off yours and make us both a ton of money.”
Is he for real?
When I turn the corner into the little cul-de-sac I live in, my tiredness vanishes. Trent leans casually against his car, his ankles crossed. His blond hair lifts across his forehead as the breeze catches it.
I’ve been waiting on a text or call from him all afternoon, but seeing him here is way better than a call. I drive up behind him and switch off the engine. He pushes away to stand on the pavement but doesn’t move towards me, but his eyes rake over me as I walk to him. He doesn’t seem to care that I’m covered in sweat and grime. His eyes sparkle as a smile teases his lips. I lean in for a kiss. His smile is still there when I press my mouth to his.
“You seem happy.” I take my time drinking him in. “How was your day?”
“Cleaner than yours.” Humour laces his voice. “I think you need a shower and a back scrub.”
“Are you offering?” I chase his lips for another kiss, enjoying his teasing and the idea of him in the shower with me. After spending the weekend and the nights in his bed, it’s been a long few days without him. I’m surprised how much I’ve missed him.
“Yep, I’m sure there are places you can’t reach.” He runs his nose up my neck to the soft spot beneath my ear. “Plus, I like it when you’re all sweaty.”
“Are you keeping your day a secret? I’ve been waiting for your message all afternoon.”
“It was good. In fact, it was more than good. I’ll tell you all about it after I’ve got you all clean. How did you get on today?”
