Page 56 of Revive
He was sucking his teeth as he did it, but he shook his head. Then, he put his arm around her shoulders. “I’m not spiralling, Alle. I’m thinking.”
“Maybe if we talked it through?”
“That doesn’t sound like a very appealing conversation.”
She didn’t need to ask to know what he was contemplating. “What if we didn’t go so extreme, toned it down a bit.”
“Nice thought, but it’s not something that’s a matter of degrees, is it? Either I trust you, or I don’t.”
“And currently you don’t.”
“Currently, I want to.” He swallowed hard. “But I’m terrified.”
Alle twitched, shifting uneasily as he retreated inwards, considering perhaps, but outwardly falling into the void. “Would something less extreme help to build your confidence in me? Because, actually it is a matter of degrees if you think about it. You do trust me on some things.”
He gave her a sly look out of the corner of his eye. “You’re always full of answers, aren’t you?”
She liked to think so. “I had four overachieving, stupidly competitive brothers while growing up. Not having an answer was never an option. Seriously though, pick something and allow yourself it. Allow us it.”
“Alle…”
“Spook. There’ve got to be hundreds of things that you’re into, but you’re not sure I’ll like. Pick something, try it with me.”
“You realise my mind goes to some very dark and filthy places when you say things like that?” He raised their clasped hands to his mouth.
Alle watched him kiss each of her finger joints in turn. “I know. But I also trust you. I trust you to make a wise choice, and to look after me, keep me safe, and that you’ll stop if I ask you to. Can you really not trust me to do the same?”
“Like I said. I want to.”
-19-
Spook
“Were you waiting for me?” Xane asked.
Spook looked up to find Xane blocking the view to his left. He had his cousin’s two loopy Dalmatians alongside him. Dog walking duty while Ric and his partners were away. He hadn’t been waiting, he’d wound up here because it gave him a view of the ravine and he was thinking, or rather, in the immortal words of Robbie Williams, he was contemplating thinking about thinking, because his mind couldn’t handle the approach without a run up.
He’d reread that message he’d sent Alle at the end of January approximately forty-seven thousand times. What the hell had he been thinking even confessing that shit?
On the other hand, he couldn’t get away from the fact that he wanted it. He wanted it so badly, there hadn’t been a minute of the last few days when it wasn’t bubbling away in his thoughts and creating an itch under his skin. He wanted it so badly he had every moment of the scenario mapped out in his mind. How he’d watch her. How he’d hunt her down. The way her body would feel trembling against his as he slammed her against the cliff face. How wet she’d be when he shoved his dick inside her. The groans and pleas she’d make.
“Walk with me?” Xane stuck out a hand to help him up.
Once on his feet, Spook automatically turned towards the steps cut into the rockface, only for Xane to haul him back from the cliff-edge.
“Not that way. Beach,” he spluttered, and tugged on Spook’s jacket, before stalking off in the opposite direction towards the sandy beaches of Liddell Island’s south-western shore.
“You can get to the beach that way too,” Spook called after him. In fact, it was quicker and more scenic if you took that path.
“Yeah,” Xane replied, deliberately quickening his pace. “But we’re not. It’s dangerous down there. It’s not a route you should be using other than out of absolute necessity.”
The route Xane was taking was prone to flooding. A fact he pointed out, as he reluctantly followed. “That’s kinda dangerous too.”
“Tide’s out,” was the only response he got.
The tide was out, but it still necessitated them making a treacherous scramble through an area carpeted by rock pools, followed by a forest of exposed bladder wrack. “What’s the deal, Xane?” he demanded having just slid on a sea lettuce and wound up on his arse.
“You know what the deal is. I’ve told you.”
