Page 4 of Love Notes and Late Nights
Wolf shook his head adamantly. “No. Don’t call him.”
Harris knew Wolf wanted his best friend more than anything, but he was only trying to be independent. “You know that Ethan would do anything for you, and Tyler understands that.”
Wolf tugged the blanket a little higher and nodded. “I’ll be OK.”
“I know you’ll be OK. But you’re not OK right now. Let me help you. What can I do? Just tell me, and I’ll do it. Whatever it is.”
Wolf fidgeted for a bit, obviously struggling to say something. “Can you stay with me tonight?” he asked softly. “I’m so tired of being alone. I hate it, but I’m used to it.” Wolf grunted. “I meant to say, I’m getting used to it. I know Ethan’s with Tyler now, and he comes first. I understand that. But it’s hard sometimes because me and him were inseparable for so many years. I know I still see him all the time, and I know if I called him right now, he’d drop everything and come over. But I can’t do that. It’s not fair to him. Or Tyler. I want Ethan to be happy. He deserves that. I won’t do anything to fuck up what he has with Tyler or get in the middle of it. I won’t. Not anymore. But sometimes, like now, being alone is hard.” Wolf grimaced and wiped his face with the blanket. “I got so much fucked up shit in my head. You have no idea.”
“You can tell me. I’m here. I can listen. I won’t judge you. I promise.” Harris was ready to take on Wolf’s burdens as his own. He’d do anything to ease his friend’s pain.
“I don’t wanna talk about it. Ever,” Wolf replied. “I don’t wanna think about it. I just want to forget, but these fucking dreams keep coming back. I haven’t had one in months. But they started again. It happens like that. Months go by and nothing. Everything’s great. Then one fucking bad dream and it’s like I’m reliving my fucked-up childhood all over again. Just when I think I’m done with the nightmares, they come back.” Desperation clouded Wolf’s face and the corners of his mouth bowed down. “They always come back.”
“Are you sure you don’t want to talk to someone? Like a professional. It sounds like you have a lot of trauma that you’re not dealing with.”
Wolf shook his head. “I don’t need a shrink.”
“I didn’t mean—”
“Actually, I do need a shrink,” Wolf said with a pathetic laugh. “But I’m not going. I can deal with it. I always have.” He was quiet for a moment and then repeated, “Will you stay with me tonight?”
“Of course,” Harris replied, realizing he never answered the question the first time Wolf asked. “I’m here for you. Whatever you need, I’m here. Anytime. If you need anything, pick up the phone and call me. Or send a text.”
Wolf nodded, looking down at his lap, and leaned into Harris.
The blankets moved and exposed one of Wolf’s legs, so Harris fixed it. He rubbed his hand up and down Wolf’s arm and couldn’t believe the guy was still shaking. “Take it easy, buddy. It’s OK now. I’m here. I’ll watch you sleep. If you look like you’re having a bad dream, I’ll wake you up right away.”
Wolf let out a long sigh that seemed to calm him a bit and the shaking slowly subsided.
They sat together quietly, not saying anything, but Harris had so many questions. He didn’t ask them, though. He teared up as he imagined what Wolf went through as a kid, and he quietly swiped at his eyes. Wolf had never confided in him or talked about the horrible life he had before he went to live with Ethan and Ethan’s parents. Harris contemplated asking Wolf if he wanted anything else, maybe something to drink or if he felt better, but he didn’t want to disturb the peace that seemed to finally overcome his friend. So, he stayed silent.
He listened to Wolf’s breathing grow steadily deeper and slower. When he was sure Wolf was asleep, Harris finally relaxed into the couch cushions. Wolf stirred a few minutes later,causing Harris to be on high alert and ready to wake the guy. But Wolf only stretched out on the couch and slid down to rest his head in Harris’ lap. Relieved, Harris fixed the blanket again so it covered Wolf’s back, first pulling Wolf’s T-shirt down, which got scrunched up and exposed his skin, and he said a silent prayer that Wolf didn’t have another nightmare.
Staring down at his friend, he delicately pushed Wolf’s long hair out of his face and pulled it aside. It was so soft and shiny. He’d never had the chance to run his fingers through it before but always wanted to play with the long layers, so he did. It started to feel invasive, since he wouldn’t be touching Wolf’s hair like this if the guy was awake, so he stopped. Instead, he watched his friend sleep.
Why are you so tortured? You deserve the world.Harris had often said a variation of these words to Wolf when he turned to him in times of intense need, but Wolf never knew the truth behind them. One day, he’d tell Wolf exactly how he felt.
Kicking off his tennis shoes, Harris leaned back on the couch to get more comfortable and placed his feet back on the coffee table, taking care not to wake Wolf who still slept in his lap. This wasn’t the ideal place to spend the night, but he couldn’t exactly ask to move to the bedroom. A smile pulled at the corner of Harris’ mouth, because he liked that idea.
He clicked off the TV, kissed the tip of his index finger, and touched it to Wolf’s head. “Nite. Sweetest dreams, sweet boy.”
Harris woke up sometime in the early morning hours, and he didn’t know where the hell he was or who the hell he was lying next to on the couch. He blinked the sleep out of his eyes and recognized Wolf’s home, and last night flooded his memory. Thankfully, Wolf hadn’t been visited by any more nightmares and slept peacefully throughout the night. They both did.
They were spooning on the couch now and sharing the blankets. Wolf’s back pressed into Harris’ chest, and their bodieswere pancaked together. Wolf was a couple of inches taller than Harris, but their bodies fit together perfectly.
Warmth emanated from Wolf’s skin, yet he clutched onto the blanket and tucked it under his chin as if he were cold. Harris tightened his arms around his friend, protectively, and placed a light kiss on the back of Wolf’s hair. As soon as he realized what he’d done, he froze, and his heartrate sped up. It seemed like such a natural thing to do that he hadn’t even thought twice about it. Luckily, Wolf hadn’t stirred.
Harris dozed off again, happy and content. A couple of hours later, his eyes bolted open when the alarm on his phone started chiming. He hated to move when Wolf looked so peaceful. The last thing he wanted to do was disturb him after last night’s meltdown, and because he found comfort holding Wolf in his arms. But his phone was going off, and if he didn’t silence it, Wolf would wake up.
Slowly, Harris loosened his embrace from around the sensitive man who found solace in his arms last night. Gently, he slipped his arms out from around Wolf’s body and sat up. Reaching for his phone with one hand, he rubbed his eyes with the other, and silenced the alarm. A notification popped up and reminded him that he needed to be home in Malibu in an hour to meet the new housekeeper. Shit. “Wolf,” he called softly. “I gotta run.”
Wolf mumbled something and rolled over to face the back of the couch, bringing the blanket higher up to his chin, still fast asleep. Harris didn’t want to wake him, but he also didn’t want to walk out and abandon his friend. He fixed the covers around Wolf’s body, tucked him in as best he could, and paused to stare down at his sleeping friend. Wolf’s profile was captivating. Those exquisite cheekbones belonged on a runway model, as did that strong jaw. Those full, rosy lips highlighted his flawless peaches-and-cream complexion. The only thing that made himmore dreamy were those catlike green eyes that were hidden by his slumber. He was so beautiful.
“Wolf, I gotta go. Are you OK?”
“Mm-hmm.”
“Are you sure?”
