Page 3 of Love Notes and Late Nights
“That’s right.” Ethan put his hand on Tyler’s knee and set adoring eyes on his boyfriend. “We met in the middle of the last tour. I flew back when I could, and Tyler joined us when he had a free weekend or a couple of days off. At least you and your girl had this time to spend together before we have to leave. That’s a plus.”
Grabbing another slice of pizza from the box, Harris tried to contain his sigh. Watching everyone around him find happiness sometimes got depressing. He reminded himself that the guy he loved was also looking for love, and maybe it was time to take a chance, or at least push things forward a little.
A few hours later, everyone left, and Harris found himself alone with Wolf. “Is it OK if I hang around for a while? I got nowhere to be.”
Wolf shrugged. “I got nowhere to be either, and I’d rather have the company than be alone. Watch a movie?”
“OK. Anything good on?”
“I don’t know.” Wolf flipped through a few apps, stopped on Netflix and picked a show. “This is a good one. I saw it a few weeks ago.”
“We don’t have to re-watch it. We can see something you haven’t seen before.”
“I stay up late and watch a lot of movies and binge watch stuff,” Wolf explained. “Sometimes, I think I’ve watched everything there is to see.”
Harris knew Wolf wasn’t the best sleeper, thanks to the close quarters and years together on the tour bus, and worried about his friend. He always wanted to ask more about what was going on, but Wolf didn’t open up to many people—no one really, except Ethan—and he didn’t want to invade his privacy.
Wolf clicked the remote, and the movie started. It was a thriller about a girl who went missing, and there were multiple suspects. It seemed like any one of them could be responsible. Harris was vested in seeing the outcome, but his eyes felt heavy, and every once in a while, the image on the TV screen blurred. In an effort to stop himself from falling asleep, he sat up straight and blinked a few times. Now more alert, he focused on the TV, until a snore drowned out the sound. He glanced over and saw Wolf was out cold. A small chuckle left Harris’ lips at the sight of his friend. Wolf had his head all the way back as if he were staring at the ceiling, and his mouth was hanging open. Instead of waking him, Harris propped his feet up on the coffee table and sunk into the couch to watch the rest of the movie, but his lids felt heavy again and soon he drifted off to sleep.
The couch shook violently, and Harris startled awake. His first thought was an earthquake, but then he heard the low whimpers next to him. He wasn’t unfamiliar with Wolf’s nightmares, but Ethan had always been there on the tour bus to comfort Wolf. Unsure how bad Wolf was going to react, Harris placed a calming hand on Wolf’s arm and spoke softly just as he’d seen Ethan do many, many times. “It’s OK. You’re just having a nightmare. Wake up.”
“No! Stop! Don’t touch me!”
“Wolf, wake up,” Harris repeated, a little more firmly.
Wolf continued to jerk and recoil and then started waving his hands in front of his face as if he were fighting off an attacker.
“Wolf! Wake up!” Harris shouted, frightened by Wolf’s volatile outburst and that he was trapped in the nightmare.
“Get away! Stop! Leave me alone!” Wolf sunk further into the corner of the couch, still frantically waving his hands in front of him and almost connecting with Harris’ face, missing it by an inch.
“Whoa.” Harris backed up. “Take it easy.” When wolf still didn’t wake up and continued thrashing on the couch and sinking deeper into the hellish nightmare, Harris grabbed his friend by the shoulders, shook him, and shouted, “Wake up!”
Wolf’s eyes flew open, glassy and wide, and filled with sheer panic. He inhaled a huge gasp, pulled back to put distance between himself and Harris, and then screamed.
It scared the fuck out of Harris, and he jumped back. He had no idea what horrors were going on in Wolf’s head or what happened in his life that caused these episodes, but the velocity of it scared the shit out of Harris. His heart filled with anguish and empathy for his friend. “It’s OK,” he said softly, his voice cracking a little. “It’s me. You’re safe. It was just a bad dream.”
Wolf stared at Harris with eyes bulging, his pupils dilated, and mouth open for another couple of seconds before he let out the breath he seemed to be holding. His complexion was deathly pale, his face was sweaty, and his hands were curled into fists. He deflated all at once but pulled his fists under his chin as if he were holding an imaginary blanket and trying to hide underneath it, then he melted into the couch as relief washed over him. He started to shake, his facial expression went blank, he lowered his eyes, and wrapped his arms around himself. Then he burst into tears.
Harris had never seen Wolf like this. Never. And it cut him to his core. He’d heard some of Wolf’s nightmares in the past. He’d heard the night terrors that woke Wolf, the muffled soft sobbing, and Ethan’s gentle reassurances, but it always happened in the middle of the night on the tour bus when they were behind the curtain of their respective bunks. Seeing Wolf’s meltdown firsthand was brutal.
“It’s all right. It’s over.” Harris moved to sit next to Wolf, close enough so their thighs pressed together, and wrapped his arms around his friend. Wolf was trembling, and his skin was cold andclammy. It made Harris’ insides burn and his stomach fall. He didn’t know what to do, so he hugged Wolf tighter.
Wolf immediately snuggled closer and rested his head on Harris’ chest and let out a series of long sobs. The guy was still shaking. Whatever horrible nightmare invaded Wolf’s sleep had carried into his waking moments and still haunted him. “It was just a nightmare. There’s nothing or no one here that can hurt you,” Harris reassured.
Wolf melted into Harris, still sniffling but no longer crying. “I’m . . . I’m sorry. I’ll be OK.”
“Do you need anything? Something to drink? A blanket?”
Wolf pressed his lips together and nodded without meeting Harris’ eyes. “There’s a blanket in the basket.”
Harris quickly took one of the blankets from the basket that always sat on the floor at the end of the couch, and he finally realized their purpose. All these years, he’d never seen Wolf throw a blanket over himself while watching TV or even sitting on the deck. Now he knew why they were there. He covered Wolf, who grabbed at the blanket and pulled it up to his chin.
“Can I have another one?” Wolf asked in a low voice.
At first, Harris thought Wolf wanted a different blanket, then realized that one blanket wasn’t enough, and it made Harris’ chest squeeze tighter. He draped the second blanket over Wolf and tucked it around the guy so he was safely encased in a cocoon of warmth and security. Then Harris sat back down with an arm around Wolf’s shoulder and pulled him close. They sat like that for several minutes, neither saying anything.
“Do you want me to call Ethan?” Harris finally asked.
