Page 51 of Half Notes and Highlights
“Yeah.” Ethandefinitelywanted more.
Their lips met again, this time with more force, and parted at the same time. Eagerly they both tasted the other with impatience, as if this was something they’d both been waiting to happen for a long time. It was exhilarating and sent tingles all throughout Ethan’s body. It was so new and different, and so fucking amazing. He couldn’t believe what he’d been missing out on for so long. Kissing girls was fun, but kissing a guy—or maybe just Wolf in particular—felt like the best thing in the world, and he wondered if all guys kissed this way.
“Did you like it?” Wolf asked.
“Hell yeah.”
“Do you . . . maybe want to try more? At some point. We don’t have to do anything more right now.”
Of course, Ethan wanted to try more. Wolf seemed like the perfect person to do it with, but again, he didn’t know if that was a good idea. He didn’t want to jeopardize their friendship, and moving past just friendship is exactly where this seemed to be going. That kiss certainly made him look at Wolf in a whole new light. “Have you done more?” Ethan wondered.
Wolf shook his head. “Not really. Just hand jobs. But I want to do more.”
“Is that going to make it weird between us? We’re best friends. I don’t want to do anything to jeopardize that.”
“It won’t. Not if we’re clear about what we both want.”
“OK.” Ethan nodded. “What do you want?”
“I want us to still be best friends.”
“Best friends don’t make out and . . . do more.”
Wolf smiled. “We can be best friends with benefits. That’s it. It doesn’t have to be more than that. Is that OK with you?”
Ethan contemplated the idea, and it sounded perfect. “Yeah.” He nodded, smiling and feeling heat and excitement rush through his chest.
“Cool.” Wolf picked up his controller, nudged his shoulder against Ethan’s, and displayed a wide grin before he restarted the game.
Now
A loud knock on the door brought Ethan back to the present. It was Paul, letting him know they were ready to leave for soundcheck. As they headed down the hallway, Wolf was up ahead waiting by the elevator with Marshall and Harris. Ethan immediately started walking faster, but Paul stopped him. “Just give him space. Don’t start a fight before the show.”
“I just want to talk to him and make sure he’s OK.”
“He’s . . . he’ll be fine. Just play it cool, and let’s get through the show tonight. I don’t want any mishaps or fights on stage. Let him be.”
Ethan hurried over to the elevator, unsure of how to act or what to say or not say. He wanted to give Wolf space, but he couldn’t do nothing. He cared about the guy too much, and that flashback he just had reinforced how much he cared about this guy.
He watched Wolf stare straight ahead at the elevator doors as if no one else were in the hallway. Ethan hesitated, wondering if Paul was right. Seeking some kind of sign indicating what he should do, he made eye contact with Harris and Marshall. Both looked on edge, as if the slightest movement would set off an explosion.
Harris slowly shook his head.
Ethan stayed quiet, and they all rode the elevator in silence and entered the waiting SUV without saying a word. It was the most uncomfortable car ride in the world.
When the car stopped at the back entrance, Wolf sprinted out of the car and into the venue. Ethan was about to chase after him, but both Harris and Marshall said, “Don’t,” at the same time.
“I can’t ignore him,” Ethan replied.
“Just for now,” Harris said.
“For tonight,” Marshall added. “Talk to him tomorrow.”
Frustration had Ethan’s stomach in knots, but he didn’t know what else to do so he took everyone’s advice and gave Wolf space.
Soundcheck went on as usual, but Wolf kept his head down and never made eye contact with anyone, and then everyone returned to their respective dressing rooms until it was time for the show.
As they all walked to the stage, the energy level seemed to have picked up. Harris was twirling his sticks and playing a beat on the walls of the corridor. Marshall had a bounce in his step, and Wolf was leading the pack with his head held high. It felt normal.
