Page 14 of Punk Rock Reflection
While Tommy pulled on his shiny, white football pants, Jessi and Angel watched with their arms around one another and exchanged a lust-filled smile.
“So, what do you think?” Tommy asked.
Tommy stood with his hands on his hips in full gear, including his helmet, and Angel forgot to breathe. This man couldn’t possibly be any sexier. “Tommy Blade, you have stolen my heart all over again.”
Jessi let out a swoony sigh and slid her hand across Tommy’s chest and over his shoulder. “I can’t count the number of nights I slept in one of your jerseys. This brings back such wonderful memories for me.”
It kind of kicked Angel in the heart, because those memories didn’t include him. Sometimes he forgot that Jessi and Tommy had a life before him, because the three of them were bonded equally. When they first formed their triad, a lot of people thought he and Jessi were connected only through Tommy, but that was never the case. He loved her. And she loved him. Naturally, there was an adjustment period, but it was short lived.
Tommy tossed his helmet on the chair and took off his jersey, then slipped it over Jessi’s head. She quickly fished her arms through the sleeves, and Tommy pulled it down her torso. Her face lit up as if he just placed a diamond necklace around her neck, and she bit her bottom lip as she smiled down at the jersey. She spun around to admire her reflection, and Tommy placed his helmet over her head.
“Look how cute she looks,” he told Angel.
Jessi turned to face them, grinning like crazy, and clutched at the hem of the jersey. She was sexy and adorable, swimming in the oversized football jersey that covered her shorts and reached the middle of her bare thighs and wearing the bobble-headed helmet.
She wrapped her arms around her waist and fingered the jersey. “I love this thing. Can I wear it to bed tonight?”
“You might want to wash it first,” Tommy said. “It’s been in a box on a shelf in my closet for years.”
“Do you ever wonder what it would have been like if you pursued a career in football instead of music?”
Jessi asked the question with whimsy, but it made Angel’s gut tighten. If Tommy hadn’t gone into music, they never would have met. If that were the case, he wondered if it would still be only Tommy and Jessi, or if there would be a different man standing in his place right now and in their lives.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you.”
Angel thought Jessi was apologizing to him, until he saw that she was looking at the troubled expression on Tommy’s face.
“It’s OK,” Tommy said. “I was thinking the exact same thing right after we went to Robert’s game. Me and my brother could have been football stars together. On the same team. Traveling together. Dominating the sport.”
“Our life would be very different,” Jessi added. “Do you miss it? Playing football?”
Tommy paused to think about his answer. “Yeah. I didn’t realize I did until we were at the game. Being so close to the action and then in the locker room surrounded by all of that post-game adrenaline—it really made me think about things.”
“What things?” Jessi asked, with the tilt of her head.
A flutter of anxiety tickled Angel’s belly as he waited for Tommy’s answer. Whatever it was, he knew it was going to be big, and he had the feeling he wasn’t going to like it.
“About where my life is headed,” Tommy replied. “Where the band is headed. And what I want to do about it.”
Tommy knew exactly what Jessi and Angel had been doing over the last couple of weeks, and he couldn’t be more thankful. Time spent with Robert always made his spirits soar, and it brought back special memories of their childhood together. They were some of the best times of his life. But it didn’t chase away the uncertainty in his heart. It didn’t alleviate the unsettling feelings that left him looking for more.
It did the opposite. It made him thirst for a higher goal. It made him crave the high of being on stage for the first time again. It also made him realize how much of his life he was missing. He was being pulled in a million different directions. Things that once meant everything to him, didn’t hold the number one position anymore. It made him second guess his priorities and wonder if he was having a mental breakdown. He knew his family and friends would certainly think that was the case when he told them what was on his mind. But he needed to do something drastic, or nothing would change.
He looked at the inquisitive and confused faces around him. He called them here today because he made a life altering-decision that affected all of them. He hesitated because he knew they’d be blown away by his next statement. He didn’t know if he was making the right decision. In truth, it scared him. But he needed a change, and this was it.
His eyes rested on Jessi, who looked more concerned than bewildered, and he knew that she would have the most volatile reaction to what he was about to say. He wasn’t going to ease into it with a lengthy explanation, because there was no way to sugar coat it. He was just going to come out and say it and let the shit storm engulf him.
“I know none of you are going to understand what I’m about to say.” He took a deep breath. “But here goes. I’m at a crossroads in my life, and I need to figure things out. I’ve decided that I need to take a break from the band, and I’m stepping back indefinitely. Maybe for good.”
Everyone’s face distorted with shock, and a chaotic uproar filled the room. At once, a flurry of irate questions and exclamations hit Tommy from all directions. No one gave him a chance to answer. They just kept shouting at him with anger and disappointment. He knew they’d be upset, but never expected a near riot from people he considered family.
He put both hands up to shield himself from the onslaught. “Calm down. I didn’t make this decision lightly. I’ve been thinking about it for a while. I’ve given it serious thought. It’s what I need. I’m no good to the band if my head isn’t in it. I’m not going to play on stage or anywhere else if I don’t feel the connection.”
“What are you talking about?” Jessi was the first to interrupt him. She stood with her hands on her hips and wore a hard scowl, ready to give him hell. “When did you evernotfeel the music, Tommy? From the day I met you—for as long as I’ve known you—you’ve had the guitar at your fingertips. You were playing this morning. I heard you. So, what do you mean, you can’t play if you’re not feeling it?”
It was true. He was playing this morning. But she obviously hadn’t been listening because he must’ve played every melancholy cover he knew. “I was playing to clear my head.”
“Well, it didn’t work. Because you’re not thinking clearly. Maybe you should go play some more because you’re obviously still confused.”
