Page 15 of Punk Rock Reflection
His mouth dropped open, and he blinked at her several times. “I’m not confused, Jessi. My mind is made up.”
Her face turned beat read. Her eyes filled with tears, and she shook her head violently. “I don’t believe this. I can’t believe what I’m hearing.” She grabbed both of his arms with more force than expected. “Don’t do this! I don’t want you to! You’re not making any sense! The band is everything! You can’t walk away!” There was fire in her eyes as she glared at him, and her grip tightened on his biceps.
For a moment, Tommy thought she was going to slap him, and he leaned back to create distance between them.
Angel stepped closer, waving his hands dismissively, and gently pulled Jessi to his side. “Calm down. He’s not serious.”
Jessi gulped and took several deep breaths as she tried to regain her composure. She wiped the tears that spilled down her cheeks, and Tommy saw that her hands were shaking. It made his chest hurt, and he almost recanted his statement. But he couldn’t do it.
“Iamserious,” he told Angel.
A skeptical smirk distorted Angel’s face, and he shook his head. “No. That’s not possible. You have no reason to feel like your career is over because we’ve achieved so much already. Immortal Angel hasn’t reached a plateau. We’re still relevant. We’re still in demand. You’re thinking about it too much. That’s all.”
“Is that what this is about?” Jimmy asked. It was the first time the drummer’s signature smile went missing, and he looked almost unrecognizable without it. “You think we’re going nowhere? We’re going every-fucking-where! An international tour is in the works. The label is planning a slew of shows in the South Pacific and Asia next year.”
Tommy shrugged, unimpressed. “We’ve done that over a half dozen times. I’m tired of it. It’s the same shit over and over again. There’s got to be more.”
“More what?” Damien demanded, standing at his full height with his chest pumped out and eyes narrowed. “That’s what bands do. We tour. We perform. You know the cycle. We’ve been doing this long enough. Don’t act like this is new or something you weren’t prepared for. We worked our asses off for this.”
“Why are you so angry?” Tommy shot back. “This is my decision. I have a right to make it without you guys giving me shit.”
“No. You don’t,” Damien snapped. “Not when it affects all of us. This is my band, too, and you’re not flushing it down the shitter.”
“He’s right, man,” Jimmy agreed. “This is our dream you’re crushing. Not just your own.”
“Take it easy, everyone,” Angel said, trying to lower the hostility level. “Tommy just needs to figure things out. Give him a few weeks, and he’ll be back to normal.”
“No. I won’t.” Tommy’s voice took on a tone of annoyance because Angel refused to take his announcement seriously. “I’ve been thinking about this for the last couple of months. You know me. I don’t make spontaneous or irrational decisions. I think things through. And I’ve put more energy into this decision than anything else.”
“Why?” Jessi asked, incredulously, still shaking her head. “I don’t understand it. At all. This makes no sense, Tommy. We have everything we ever wanted. Immortal Angel is still at the top of the charts. Even after all these years. Why would you want to throw all of that away?”
For once, Jessi wasn’t supportive. She was as put out as the rest of the band, maybe more, and it kicked Tommy in the gut.
“I told you,” he said. “There has to be more to life than just going from city to city. I’m tired of it.”
Audra addressed him next, her no-nonsense business attitude clear in her voice and in her posture. “I hate to sound like an executive instead of a friend, but you have a contract, Tommy. You can’t just decide to stop touring and stop writing music.”
“Yes. I can. Have you read my contract? Because I did. I have an opt-out clause that states I can call a hiatus for up to six months if I’m feeling burnt out, as long as I give notice. That’s what I’m doing. I’m giving notice.”
Her head jerked back in shock. Although Audra did almost everything for the band, she didn’t negotiate their contract with Falcon. She was the tour manager. Not even her sister Kira, as A&R rep for Immortal Angel, negotiated their contract. That was Angel’s job.
“So, is that all this is?” Jessi asked, hope evident in her voice. “A six-month sabbatical?”
Tommy shook his head. “No. Our contract is up for renewal in five months.” He paused. “I don’t think I’m going to sign a new one.”
Everyone started shouting again, making sure their disapproval was heard. But Tommy felt relieved that the words were finally out of his mouth. He didn’t reply or defend his decision. Instead, he let them all argue amongst themselves because he had nothing left to say.
When they finally quieted down, Tommy faced his best friends all staring at him with malice and confusion, including his spouses. Even Audra was still glaring at him. No one understood, and he felt defensive. But, more than anything, he was starting to feel like shit, since this did affect their lives as well, just like Damien said. The only one who didn’t look as if they wanted to shake some sense into him was Alyssa. Maybe she had a few words of support, so he met her eyes and asked, “Everyone else had their say. What do you think?”
“I think you’re an asshole,” she said, totally serious and with a straight face. “Get over yourself. If you’re going through a mid-life crisis, go get counseling or something. Don’t throw in the towel. You’re life’s not over, Tommy.”
Over the next few days, no one talked about what happened. Neither Jessi nor Angel mentioned it, and Tommy was happy that they were giving him space instead of trying to change his mind. Obviously, Jimmy and Damien were doing the same since they weren’t answering text messages, and his calls went straight to voicemail. So, when Tommy walked into the kitchen and saw Audra, Kira, and Alyssa sitting at the center island with Jessi, his face lit up. “Hey,” he said, offering a friendly smile.
Conversation stopped, and there was silence. Audra and Alyssa stared at him for a quiet beat before replying with a half-hearted greeting.
Kira, who hadn’t been at the band meeting, had obviously been filled in on its outcome, and she shifted uneasily in her seat. “Hi, Tommy,” she said.
Jessi’s gaze shifted from Tommy to the girls and back again.
