Page 56 of Bear In A Bookstore
“Think what you want.”
“Okay. Then I’m going to tell you what I think.” He put his hands on the desk, trying to get her to look at him but she focused on her coffee. “I think you traded one prison for another. You said you left L.A. to get a fresh start. To focus on the bookstore and give yourself something to do besides wallow in what happened to you. Yet, you come here and don’t interact with anyone. You barely leave your house or this store. There’s nothing personal in your home, nothing that you love or hold dear. It’s barren and empty. If you were really after a fresh start, you’d make this place your home even if it’s temporary. Instead, you made yourself a new cell in a different town.”
A harsh laugh burst from her throat. “That’s a great observation, Desi. Really.”
“Look, I don’t know what’s going on right now and I won’t unless you tell me.” He paused as if she were supposed to fill in the blanks. Too bad. The sooner she could get him out of here, the better.
“Life does not wait for us, Kora. Time doesn’t care about our trauma, or our grief, or our fears. It goes on with or without us and knowing how quickly it can be taken away, I choose not to mess with time. I’m not waiting on my life, and neither should you.”
She ran a hand over her mouth, trying so damn hard not to cry. “You’re just mad because you’re not getting what you want from me. Because I’m not throwing myself at you and falling for your fated mate bullshit!”
He winced and her heart sank to her feet. Stop this, Kora. Stop this.
But she couldn’t. She was going to fall completely apart, and he didn’t need to pick her up. He needed a woman who didn’t avoid the god damned news because it gave her a panic attack.
Desi took two steps back from the desk. Her soul cried at the distance between them. Don’t go. Don’t.
“I’m not mad, Kora. I’m frustrated because you refuse to step fully into your life. The man who did those things to you? He forced you to give him twelve hours of your life and for some fucking reason, you keep spoon-feeding him more instead of letting me help you figure out how to use those precious minutes a better way.”
Damn him.
“I don’t expect you to understand.”
He moved back a little more, the space between them filling up with something rigid and unmovable.
“Three years into my service, I watched half my squad die after their convoy hit an IED . . . a convoy I was supposed to be part of. But I got pulled by my commander at the last minute. Some of the injured made it back and all I could do was watch them die, one by one, so fueled by guilt that I couldn’t see straight. Why them and not me? Why didn’t fate put me on that convoy that day?” He huffed a humorless laugh. “I’ve thought a lot about that over the years. It wasn’t until recently that I considered the reason my life was spared that day was so I could meet you, and help you heal yours.”
Kora clenched her eyes, tears running down her cheeks. The dream she’d had . . .
“I told myself that I wasn’t going to waste any time when I got out. What a dishonor to my fallen friends to waste my life, you know? When I met you—the moment I met you—I knew were meant to cross paths.”
She threw up her hands. “You’re not my guardian angel, Desi!”
“Then what am I?” His angry words reverberated off the walls.
Kora drew fast, hard breaths, weighing her next words, struggling to say them yet knowing she couldn’t hold them back.
“You’re just a guy that I met while I’m here. And I sure as hell don’t need you trying to save me.”
He shook his head and ran a hand over his mouth. “Just a guy. Noted.”
Her soul shrank by increments as he strode to the door. He paused and she braced herself for what he was going to say next. But he yanked the screen door open and didn’t look back.
“Take care, Kora.”
The door slammed against the frame, bouncing and hitting again. Her body jerked with the sound right before she slumped to the floor behind her desk and buried her face in her knees.
He was just a guy. Just a guy that she’d set free. He might be hurting right now.
But one day, he’d thank her.
Chapter Twenty
Astormsystemcamethrough, pummeling the town in rain for the next two days, perfectly complimenting the mental hole Kora couldn’t work her way out of.
She hadn’t slept, had barely eaten, and she was worn down to the last of her reserves. What she’d done to Desi was tearing her apart. She tried to find a way through the guilt, reminding herself that he deserved better. She rode out the bulk of the storm at home, locked away behind her high-tech security system and obsessively watching the monitor. She wasn’t just looking for the intruder her mind was convinced was coming.
She was watching for Desi.
