Page 31 of Crown of Hearts
Because she’s not you.
“It’s different because the political situation in Everness has changed. I would need to discuss this with my council before any serious decisions are made,” I explained. “I understand your predicament, but things are complicated.” My father had just died, and I had Argonian spies in the palace prison. The timing could not be worse.
“So that’s it? Nice to see you after months of silence but please leave until further notice?”
“That’s not what I said,” I stated, realising I might be coming across as a bit harsh.
“Then what would you have me do?” she exclaimed. “Who else am I supposed to go to? Do you honestly expect me to simply disregard everything that happened between us in Everness?”
I’d told her to give me a chance until the rebellion was over. I’d told her to escape to Norrandale and that I would find her and then... then what? I didn’t think about the future. Living in the woods at Fairfrith felt like another world most days. It was easy to set aside my duty and the harsh reality of our circumstances. And now...
“But you’re not here because of what happened between us in Everness.” She wasn’t here to make some declaration of love, to say that she’d missed me or wanted to be with me. She was here because she needed the strength of my new title.
“I came to you because I thought I could trust you.” She was begging.
“You can trust me.”
“Can I?” It was a punch in the gut. I clenched my jaw.
“I suggest you stay here as a guest for the time being and we can discuss the matter.” This was after all, the usual procedure for these kinds of matters.
“Very well.” Elara stood up and brushed invisible flecks of dust from the skirts of her dress. “I’ll leave you to your duties, then.”
“Elara, wait.” I stood up as well. This was clearly not the way either of us had hoped this conversation would go.
“Cai,” she said, like she was drawing a line under the conversation, before she walked out the door.
* * *
“I’m such an arse.” I sat with my hands in my hair.
“That could have gone better,” Thatcher responded, after I’d told him about what happened. “Although when I said she would come crawling back once you started courting other women, I did not imagine she would show up the same day.” He smiled at his joke.
“I wasn’t prepared to see her in the first place, much less for her to ask to marry me.” I was still in a state of shock over what had just happened. Had Elara really just showed up here and proposed? And had I really just said no?
“You said you’d discuss it with your council.” Thatcher tried to reassure me.
I continued to stare holes into the carpet of the study.
“I couldn’t have just said yes, could I? I mean, this would make me king of Everness and unite the kingdoms in a whole new way. It would have a massive impact on Everness and Norrandale. A new agreement would have to be drawn up. This is a serious matter.”
“Of course it is,” Thatcher agreed. “It’s not a simple yes or no. Elara will see that.”
“I don’t want her to hate me.”
“She doesn’t hate you.” He smiled. “You can stop moping like a lovesick puppy.”
“I am not a lovesick puppy,” I mumbled.
“Forgive me, what kind of lovesick animal would you prefer to be?” If one of the books had been any closer, I would have thrown it at him.
“I am curious, though.” Thatcher relaxed back into his chair and tilted his head. “Politics aside, if you weren’t the king of Norrandale and she wasn’t the queen of Everness, what would your answer have been?”
“What do you mean?”
“If you were just a farmer and she was just a peasant girl? Would you have said yes?”
“If that were the case, I probably would have asked her to marry me, not the other way around,” I blurted without thinking.
