Page 32 of Crown of Hearts
“That’s evading the question,” Thatcher pressed.
“I used to know a girl in Everness. She was wild and fearless.” I sighed. “She called me out and pressed my buttons. There was a fire inside of her and I used to believe I could marry a girl like that.”
“And now?”
I turned to look at the door she’d walked through. “Now, I’m not so sure that she’s that girl anymore.”
Chapter 9
Elara
I rushed through the palace hallways, trying to put as much distance between me and the study as possible. Rhen gave one look in my direction and read enough from my expression to follow a safe distance behind, along with Anesta.
He said no.
How could he say no?
I couldn’t decide if I was furious with him or myself or perhaps downright embarrassed at the feeling of rejection coursing through me. I had come all this way to make a complete and utter fool of myself and at the hands of the king of Norrandale, no less.
Cai had said no.
Or at least, he hadn’t said yes.
Most of my time on our journey here had been spent practising what to say leading up to the proposal. I was so focused on how to go about it that I hadn’t prepared myself properly for what to do if he didn’t say yes. Of course I knew it was always a possibility. But this was Cai. I knew him. Or at least, I thought I did.
A proper queen would see all of this as a challenge instead of defeat. But I knew, in the back of my mind, that I was no proper queen. I was just a masked bandit with a title. Perhaps I would always be a masked bandit, playing pretend with her crown.
I hadn’t told Cai what Lance had said regarding the marriage agreement.
Whether Cai liked it or not, he was technically engaged to me according to a paper that he’d willingly signed. I hadn’t even considered bringing the documentation with me because part of me believed I truly would have no need for it. And if I did,waving it in Cai’s face to pressure him to marry me would make me no better than my brother. Was it so terrible that I didn’t want to force Cai into this alliance? I’d never expected us to be lovers for the rest of our lives, but having the past we did, I thought us, at the very least, capable of doing this as friends. There were worse fates, after all.
Most of all, I hated myself for the fact that I had genuinely hoped he would say yes.
* * *
“I cannot believe that man.”
Anesta remained quiet as she took the pins out of my hair. After my failed proposal in the study, I spent the remainder of the afternoon hiding in the guest chambers. I didn’t have it in me to face anyone else. Poor Anesta had no choice but to listen to my venting.
“He was the one who told me to wait for him, to give him a chance. And now he wants me to believe he doesn’t care for me whatsoever? That he’s just numbed himself to all emotion regarding my existence?”
“He really said he wouldn’t marry you?” Anesta said, with disbelief.
“Not exactly,” I huffed. “He said he needed to think about it. That he would have to discuss it with his council. Does the king have no power in this damn kingdom to marry whomever he wants? This would make him the king of Everness.” I was agitated. Because it was easier to be furious than to be sad or allow any other negative and self-deprecating emotion to slip through the cracks. I didn’t want to consider Cai’s reasoning either. How much of it was political and how much was personal?
“I suppose that’s kind of a polite way of saying he doesn’t want to marry you,” Anesta took out another pin.
“Anesta!” I groaned. “You’re supposed to be making me feel better, not worse.”
“I’m sorry.” She began brushing out my hair. “You’re right. The man doesn’t deserve you. You can do so much better, Your Majesty.” Her tone wasn’t entirely sincere, but she was trying her best to cheer me up.
“I don’t know about that. There aren’t exactly many eligible kings running around.”
“What about King Aries?” she asked, while combing the locks of my dark hair.
“King Aries?” I really did have to start paying better attention when Rhen discussed politics with me.
“Yes, the king of Argon.”
