Page 63 of The Baxters
Even still, Landon wasn’t in a hurry. Ashley needed the quiet maybe more than she needed him—if she needed him at all. At the first line of trees, he found his way through to the clearing, and then he slipped between another couple oaks and some shrubs until he reached the stream on the other side.
Sure enough, she was there. At the top of the rock. Sitting with her knees pulled up, face to the sky. This was the Ashley he knew and loved. The one who had to process, had to be alone to sort through the shattered pieces of her heart.
Especially today.
Landon walked closer and put his hand on the rock. “Ashley.”
She didn’t hear him over the wind. So he climbed up and when he was a few feet from her she gasped and turned to him. “Wha—” A loud breath came from her. “You scared me.”
“Sorry.” He took the spot beside her and stretched out his legs. For a minute he didn’t say anything. Then he looked around and remembered the last time they were here together. “Familiar spot, huh.”
“Yes.” Her eyes found his and she didn’t blink, didn’t look away. “I’m sorry, Landon. For how I’ve treated you. All the breakups. The way I avoided you.” She straightened her legs in front of her and stared into the night. “You didn’t deserve that.”
“You were hurt.” The wind died down a little, so his voice was soft. Marked with a vulnerability he felt only around her. “I knew you didn’t mean it.”
“I never wanted to be unkind.” She glanced at him. “But Ididmean it, Landon. I had become a different person. And I’m worse now.”
“You’re not worse.” Landon wanted to take her hand, put his arm around her and love her back to the girl she used to be. Until she believed it, too. But it wasn’t the time. He needed to get through this conversation first. “You keep saying how bad you are. But here’s the thing. How can you move on in life and be happy when you beat yourself up all the time?”
A sad laugh came from her and again she looked out at the stream. “Haven’t you been paying attention? Everything Luke said is true.” She took a sharp breath. “I’ma terrible mother—I mean, who would walk away from their baby and leave a juice cap on his tray?”
“That was a mistake.” Landon wasn’t getting anywhere. Frustration built in his gut. “You love Cole. Anyone could’ve seen that today.”
“But Luke’s right.” She put her hands behind her and leaned back. “I drop Cole off at my parents’ house all the time. It’s hard for me… being a single mom.”
This time Landon waited. There was more she wanted to say. He could feel it.
Ashley shifted so she could see him. “I guess I figure my mom and dad want to spend time with him. As much as possible.” She hesitated. “He likes them better, anyway.”
Landon only raised his eyebrows. “Do you hear yourself? You used to be the girl with the most gumption, ready to tackle any problem. And now you’re talking yourself into believing every possible negative thing. All of it lies.”
A smile lifted Ashley’s lips. “Okay.” She angled her head. “We won’t talk about that.” She crossed her legs and faced him. “Tell me about you, Landon. Your time at Baylor… there must be something interesting you can tell me.”
It was the first time she’d asked about his college days, something Landon hadn’t expected tonight. He faced her and pulled one knee up. “College.” He chuckled. “Where to begin?”
Guilt flashed in her eyes, like she was realizing, too,that she had never asked him about Baylor. She waited, ready.
“My best friend is a guy named Jalen Hale.” He paused as something else shone in her eyes. Jealousy, maybe. Until the accident she had been his best friend, and he had been hers. Landon let it go. “His twin sister, Hope, hangs out with us a lot. She and I… we get coffee or dinner sometimes.”
“Wait.” Ashley leaned forward. She definitely wasn’t expecting this. “You and Hope?” Her expression held no anger, of course. She would have no right to that. But he recognized the hurt in her voice. She seemed to force a smile. “You mean… you have a girlfriend?”
“I didn’t say that.” Landon allowed a quiet laugh. “Don’t twist my words, Ash.”
“I’m not. You said you and Hope get dinner sometimes. That’s called dating.” She found her rhythm, her voice more cheerful now. “You should’ve told me, Landon.”
This was ridiculous. “I don’t have a girlfriend. Hope and I are… we’re talking. That’s all.”
Ashley gave a slow nod. “Talking.” She looked at him for several seconds. “Well, then, everything is going to work out just fine. You have Hope and I can get on with my life. Do things my own way.”
“Look.” He hated this. “I’ve been away for a long time, Ash. Of course I have friends. I take eighteen credits a semester and I play flag football on Jalen’s intramural team.My volunteer work at the fire station has turned into a passion.”
She raised her brow. “The reason you took the child-lifesaving course?”
“Yes.” Landon relaxed some. It had killed him not sharing his life with her. Now that she wanted to know, he couldn’t wait to color in the details. “Spring semester of my sophomore year we got to respond to an actual fire. Not all volunteer firefighters get to do that.” He shrugged, searching for the words. “It was incredible, Ash. Being there on scene, rushing into a burning house looking for victims.” He grinned. “I loved it.”
“So that’s what you’re going to do?” Ashley looked stunned. “My safe, predictable Landon Blake? Fighting fires? Wow.” Her tone sounded impressed, but he couldn’t be sure.
Either way, her words got to him. “You always say that, how I’m safe.” He clenched his jaw. “It bugs me.”
