Page 36 of The Baxters
None of that was Kari’s fault.
No, the issue was something so much smaller, and yet bigger than her tears or anything else today. Something someone else might’ve missed. The one thing she couldn’t stop thinking about.
Her hesitation.
That was it. When she replayed the minutes with adrenched Ryan Taylor sitting next to her on the back porch swing on her wedding day, breathing hard, his eyes locked on hers. When she pictured the way his rain-soaked T-shirt clung to his arms and chest and the feel of his eyes on hers, the thing that made her most alarmed was that single slight pause.
Ryan’s question played again in her mind, the way it had twenty times since he asked it.Do you love him? Are you in love with him?
She swished the hem of her dress over the tops of her shoes. What sort of bride was she, anyway? Her reply to Ryan should’ve come as easily as her name. Quicker than her next breath. Sooner than her next heartbeat. If she had it to do over again she would’ve jumped at her answer.
Of course she loved Tim. She was definitely in love with him. How could Ryan even ask such a question? She loved Tim more than anything she’d ever felt for Ryan Taylor.
That’s what should’ve spilled out of her mouth.
But it didn’t.
Instead she had paused. Just the slightest hesitation, as if her heart knew better than to run ahead with such an answer. Especially when the question came from Ryan. Looking into his gaze she simply couldn’t bring herself to form the words. Which could only mean one thing.
She wasn’t sure.
Even here less than two hours before walking down the aisle, she was having doubts. There was no otherword for how she was feeling. A sigh came from the recesses of her heart. Maybe it wasn’t doubt. Maybe she was only afraid. Cold feet. That’s what they called it, right? Those nervous moments before saying “I do.”
Kari walked to the window and stared over the open fields to the Taylors’ house.
If only she’d gotten a few more minutes with Ryan. If she would’ve finally heard him out. Once and for all. Clearly he’d come with something on his heart. Only he didn’t get to finish.
Because Tim showed up.
The rain was heavier again and Kari felt her gaze blur, and again images from a thousand yesterdays ago filled her heart and mind and soul.
Before Ryan had left for Dallas, the two of them had taken a day trip to Lake Monroe. At the beginning there had been no clouds, only a clear blue sky. But they were hiking halfway around the lake when a storm came up.
“Did you hear that?” Kari had stopped and looked up at Ryan. “In the distance.”
That part of the trail was cloaked in trees and shrubs. The view of the lake was completely obscured by the various shades of green that surrounded them. The sound came again.
“I heard it that time.” Ryan had never been good at hiding his feelings from her. Not since they were kids. And there on that path the sudden concern in his eyes was easy to read. “Let’s get up ahead a ways so we can see the lake.”
She had followed him another hundred yards or so until their view opened up. Only then did they both realize the trouble they were in. The distant sky was an eerie dark greenish color and a wall of ominous clouds was headed straight for them.
Before either of them could speak, the tornado sirens went off.
“Ryan!” Kari could remember how her heart picked up speed, how panic came over her as quickly as the storm. “We need to get back!”
A deep calm eased Ryan’s expression as he turned to her. He took both her hands and stared straight at her. “We don’t have time.” He studied her. “I’ve got this, Kari. You have to believe me.” That familiar steely determination rang in his voice. “I won’t let anything happen to you.”
The sirens were still blaring from the other side of the lake. Kari glanced at the choppy water and then again at Ryan. “But… the storm.” She wanted to run as fast as she could back to the parking lot. Anything so they could get home before they were trapped. “Ryan, look at the trees around us. Even if a tornado doesn’t get us, the wind will.”
“I know.” Ryan had put his hands on either side of her face. “You have to trust me. I absolutely will not let anything happen to you. I promise.”
This time something in his tone made her relax. Even now she could remember feeling a sense of surreal calm come over her. Ryan would take care of her. He had promised.
Lightning had split the sky just over the far shore of the lake. Ryan took her hand and hurried her back to the path. “Come on.”
Together they ran for a few minutes—all while the tornado sirens continued to wail through the humid summer air. The first drops of rain began to fall and then without warning Ryan stopped. He turned onto an overgrown path, one that led up a hilly embankment. “Hurry, Kari girl.”
She didn’t have to be asked twice. The climb was steep but she kept up with him until they reached a plateau. And there built into the side of the hill was a rock cave Kari had never seen before.
