Page 84 of Other Side Of Never
When we went shopping for school clothes for Isaiah, barbecued in Kian’s temporary backyard, chased fireflies and read bedtime stories, I held it.
I held it, I held it, I held it.
By the time Kian sauntered back down the hall after putting Isaiah to bed, I was ready to burst.
That crooked smile I loved so much spread across his handsome face as he drew the blinds across the window and flicked on the lamp.Its warm light gathered in the contours of Kian’s beautiful face then pooled across the floor toward my feet.Sitting down on the opposite end of the couch, he pulled my feet up onto his lap.“Are you going to tell me what’s had you wound up all day?”
I beamed and released a shuddering breath.Saying it out loud made it real.“Jakey called me.”
His hazel eyes widened comically.“Jakey called you?”
I laughed, throwing my head back as joy over flowed.“Mhm.”
His eyebrows rose.“Is he okay?”
“That was my first question!”I replied, my smile huge.“He’s been trying to call me for a few weeks.He caught me up on his news and asked if he could come see me sometime.”
Kian squeezed my foot and lifted it to his mouth before planting a kiss on my arch.“That’s amazing, Bridget.You told him he could come anytime?”
My brow furrowed.“I did, but I also warned him his dad would not be happy about it.He doesn’t care.”I shook my head.“He’s grown up so much.”
“Let him come, Bridget,” he stated seriously.“If he’s reaching out to you, sweetheart, let him come.”
Butterflies revolted in my stomach.I didn’t want to hear what he was going to say next.“Why do you say it like that?”
I left him.
Massaging the arch of my foot, he continued, “A boy that age needs support and guidance.From what you’ve said, he probably isn’t getting it at home.”
My voice faltered as I repeated the words I suspected would torture me for the rest of my days.They became real, too, as I said them out loud.“They told him I didn’t want to see him.”
And I left him.
His head dropped to the side as his eyes softened.“I’m so sorry, baby.”
I heard his voice in my head, soft and hesitant.
They told me you didn’t want to see me.
I nodded, emotion clogging my throat.Unable to bear Kian’s scrutiny, I looked away and nodded again.My eyes darted around the room wildly, searching for something, anything, to ground me.
I left him.
“Bridge.”
“I’m okay,” I wheezed, my hands curling into claws on my thighs.Squeezing my eyes shut, I breathed through the pain.
I’d been here before.I just had to get a handle on it.Push it back down where it couldn’t reach me.
Kian’s grip on my foot tightened.“Bridget, come here right now.”
I froze in place, panic gripping me as a low keening moan strangled my throat.
Tossing my legs off his lap, Kian reached across the couch and yanked me into his arms.
I could hear Jakey’s voice in my head just as clearly as if he was standing in front of me, speaking slowly, hesitantly, afraid it might be true.
They told me you didn’t want to see me.
