Page 56 of Motivating Mira
“You won’t be able to fall asleep in class because you won’t be sitting for a week when I’m done with you.”
I licked my lips, heat flushing my face. “Yes, Sir.”
“Glad we’re on the same page.” He nodded, collecting his own things and I scrambled out of the room.
Maybe I was being the worst kind of asshole, but I didn’t text Wes when I got to the hospital, and not just because my mom had called me two hours earlier to tell me she was being released either. I just couldn’t. Not when, after just one night and one day with him, I was so obviously falling apart.
Besides a few late assignments, I’d been the picture of responsibility. I was on time for my classes, and I stayed awake through them, I didn’t miss my shifts, and I was gettingstraight A’s. Plus, I was there for my mom, even if she didn’t acknowledge it, I was doing great. I mean from the outside that is. But maybe that’s what it was all about, showing up, handling everything like a pro, and never letting them see you sweat, despite falling apart on the inside.
So yeah, ignoring him was the plan, my only plan. At least until I got my shit together. Then, when everything was back to normal, I’d call him and explain.
But of course, he didn’t give up and following my plan was increasingly stressful. Ignoring his calls, voice messages, and texts was getting harder, especially when he was starting to get that Dom tone that made my knees weak, so I shot him a reply to his last text.
Mira:
I know I said I’d text but stuff came up. And now I need space. A lot of it.
Wes:
Okay. I trust you know what you’re doing and that if you’re not okay, you’ll call me.
Mira:
Thank you for treating me like a capable person.
Wes:
You are, so why wouldn’t I?
I sighed as I read his reply. How could he be so sure when I wasn’t? And wouldn’t a capable person have actually messaged him like she’d agreed to. I groaned. I had to end this. It wasn’t healthy for me, and it wasn’t healthy for him either.
Mira:
I don’t know. But I need to be clear, I won’t be calling. Our time together was fun, but it’s not what I need right now. And now is all I have the capacity to deal with. I hope you understand, but even if you don’t, this is how it’s going to be. Please don’t contact me again. And if you happen to be at Rawhide, please don’t be offended, but I’ll be avoiding you.
I stared waiting for the speech dots to show up, but they didn’t come.
“Of course they didn’t, you narcissist, you told him not to contact you again,” I mumbled under my breath. I was just about to power my phone off in frustration when it started buzzing in my hand again. For a second, deep down beneath my annoyance, my romance novel loving heart hoped that he wouldn’t accept my decision, that he’d fight for me, sweep me off my feet, and rescue me from this ridiculous attempt at being something I wasn’t. And as angry as that weakness made me, that hope was crushed when I looked down and saw it wasn’t Wes calling.
It was Dr. Biard, my mom’s oncologist.
My stomach sank. Something was wrong and I knew it. I knew it because the universe was punishing me for my slip up, for my mini vacation from reality. Or maybe it was just teaching me, by throwing everything it could at me, that I had to learn to swim no matter how hard I fought against the current because there would be no breaks.
Maybe he just wanted to touch base since he hadn’t had a chance to talk to me before I took mom home, I thought, being hopeful?
“Does that thing ever stop? Who keeps calling you?” my mom asked as I headed for the back door.
“Cleo. She’s having boyfriend troubles,” I lied, opening the screen door. “Sit tight. I’ll just be a minute.”
The door slammed shut with a deafening thwack, and it felt like an omen as I answered the call. “Dr Biard?”
“Miss Wilcox?”
“Yes, it’s me. What’s going on?”
“Mira, I wasn’t sure if your mom would tell you what we talked about this morning, so I thought I better touch base with you.”
“Okay. No, she didn’t even mention you were by the hospital to see her. Although I haven’t had a minute to really ask her much since I’ve been getting her settled. I’ve been waiting to hear back from her doctor at the hospital too. What’s happening?”
