Page 45 of Two Friends in Marriage
It was nothing like the one on our wedding day.She threw herself at me while we were watching TV, and as stunned as I was, I still kissed her back immediately, my body reacting to something I’d wanted for weeks.The press of her chest against mine.The eagerness of her lips and tongue as she tried to get closer and closer.But when I bucked my hips against hers, she seemed to realize what we were doing and left.
I’m still not entirely sure why it happened, though.Was she overcome by the sexual tension onscreen?That, in itself, seems insufficient.
Does she want me?Has she been thinking about it as much as I have?Something has seemed a little off in the last couple of days, but it could be unrelated.It could have to do with Claudia—I know they spoke for a while yesterday, and they don’t talk on the phone all that often.
No, I can’t let myself hope, especially when she looks distraught.I’m afraid that if I try to talk about it, she’ll freak out again, so I think the best course of action is to pretend we never kissed.We have to live together, after all.
The feel of her on top of me…I’ll just think about that when I’m alone.
“Watson apologizes for not being ready for coffee.”I gesture at him.“He was partying late last night.”
Her lips curve into a cautious smile.There were a couple of times this week when her smiles seemed awkward and forced, but this seems genuine, if a little uncertain.
You see, Jane?It’s okay.I’m still your friend-slash-husband.
“Any plans for the day?”she asks.“The usual?”
“Actually,” I say, “my mom texted me after we…you know.She wants me to come over to move some things and have dinner, if that’s okay.”
“Of course.”
Does she sound glad to be rid of me?I think so, but I’m scared to ask.She’d probably refute it anyway.
While I have a decent amount of experience with kissing and relationships, nothing has quite prepared me for this.
My mom regards me inquisitively from across the table.“Are you eating enough?”
“What do you mean?I’m eating lots!You keep putting food on my plate, and I’m eating it all.”To emphasize this, I pick up another piece of beef.
We’re sitting in the kitchen of my childhood home, after I helped my parents move some furniture in the basement.My father is to my left, between me and Mom.
She clucks her tongue.“I don’t mean right now.I mean in general.Why are you so hungry tonight?Because you aren’t eating enough at home?”
I’m half-afraid she’s going to accuse Jane of not feeding me, even though that doesn’t sound like my mother.Sure, Jane does more cooking than I do, but I’m capable of feeding myself, and my parents are aware of that.They made sure we all learned to cook.
“I didn’t eat much at lunch because I wasn’t hungry then,” I say, “but I guess I worked up an appetite.”
“Why weren’t you hungry earlier?”Dad asks.“Is something wrong?”
My wife and I kissed for the first time since the wedding and everything is weird now.
“No,” I say, then stuff some bok choy in my mouth.
“Maybe you’re working too hard,” Mom says.“You should really go on that honeymoon.It will be good for you.”
“We don’t need a honeymoon, and my marriage is fine.”
“I didn’t suggest it wasn’t.”
No, she didn’t, not exactly, but I can feel her concern—different from her usual concern about me.The fact that I sound so defensive probably isn’t helping.I’m not normally like this with my parents.
“We’ll go next year,” I say with a sigh.
“You can take another trip next year,” Dad says.“A honeymoon should be within a few months of the wedding.”
“Why are you so keen on the honeymoon?”I ask.
My parents exchange a look.They’ve been married for forty years, and sometimes, it feels like they can have entire conversations without speaking.
